Tuesday, August 22, 2006

My Buoy- The Struggle to get it

Disclaimer: All the characters of this story are born in India and do not resemble to anyone in real life

Tipu Next works for a company called Jagayar Martinology Solutions(JMS). It is basically an on-Mars off-Earth company based on the foot hills of Aravali Mountain ranges. It does most of its business in Mars Supporting moftware for Marsineans. JMS has never developed any software themselves. When MARS became expensive they outsourced it to Earth. Tipu Next was poached from H&R Infotech by JMS in a place called Marondon. Marondon is the financial hub of Mars. JMS is the vendor for an Marsvedic Data (Similar to Ayurveda in Earth) Company(MDC). It collects and processes data. When Tipu Next and his friends joined JMS, life was very difficult as the existing employees didn't want them to join the Company. They had their reasons as they are Aravallians who are very conservative and selfish (except the few who are still Tipu's friends).
Working in JMS became very difficult as the days went by. The Client MDC was happy with Tipu Next. The hate-hate relationship between the JMS account Manager Nippon Aravli and Tipu Next started increasing day by day. In JMS, Tipu Next's immediate line manager was Oriya Gowda.
Nippon Aravli holds the record for making the maximum number of employess people quit JMS.
In 2005 JMS became a billion Molldar company (Molldar is the currency of Mars). JMS decided to give every employee in the pay roll of the company as on January 2006 a Buoy. Buoy is an MApple product meant to do many things. Sometimes Buoy can also be used as a navigation equipment. Buoy had to obtained from Pluto as it is very cheap there. All the employees at the time were supposed to get the Buoy by March 2006. But due to logistical reasons and non-availability of Damaged Buoys there has been a delay. You may wonder why Buoys were given. It sometimes floods around the Aravali mountains. So we have to use a boat as a means of transport. At this time the Buoy can used as a navigation aid. They never realized that these buoys will be a become a problem during summer. More like a standard JMS project estimation and delivery. The end product never serves the purpose.
Tipu Next quit JMS in the mean time.Technically even though Tipu Next was not with JMS anymore Tipu Next was supposed to receive the Buoy. Nippon Aravli did not want to give the Buoy to Tipu Next. Basically Nippon Aravli bluffs a lot and is more interested in pleasing his boss. He never liked Tipu Next. All Tipu Next's contacts are through Oriya Gowda.
It became a challenge for Tipu Next to get the Buoy. This was more difficult than finding a new job in Mars. A batch of Buoys were distributed to the people working at MDC with JMS. Tipu Next called Oriya Gowda and asked what happened to his Buoy. Oriya Gowda was giving lot of reasons why Tipu Next was not given the Buoy like ' There has been Solar flare in the sun',' Few people in Pluto had bird flu', hurricane Katrina hit your Buoy' and so on. The actual reason was Nippon Aravli gave it his Boss to please him.
These reasons forced Tipu Next to follow it up aggressively. Tipu Next started following it up every day.Tipu Next was annoyed with further reasons.In the 2nd week of August Tipu Next was told by Oriya Gowda that JMS 'MANAGEMENT' has decided to him the BUOY in 2 weeks time, but will have to play a cricket match.
Nippon Aravali came up with a set of conditions for getting the Buoy. A cricket match will be arranged against Tipu Next. JMS will have 11 member team. Tipu Next will have only 9 member team. Tipu Next have to train JMS. Pram Kumar will be one of the umpires. JMS will be bat for 20 overs Tipu Next will bat for 18 overs. A wide or no ball by Tipu Next will be 4 runs for JMS and Tipu Next will only get 1 run when JMS bowls a wide or no ball. The rules were more harder than rules set by Captain Russell In Laagan. The rules were similar to the criteria for Tipu Next's promotion in JMS. Tipu Next agreed to it as he needed the Buoy
The Match was held in Mercury. The Match was well balanced in favor of Tipu Next inspite of the rules. Last over required 12 runs for JMS. Pram Kumar was the Umpire. A ball was just crossed the Batsman's crease and Pram Kumar gave it as 4 runs. When asked his answer 'Not Guilty'( The only English word he knows). But Inspite of all these Tipu Next won the match.
Finally the Buoy was given to Tipu Next.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

More than our Wales story, we both have enjoyed your "Oh Buoy". It was just fantastic, hilarious.. Best name was Oriya Gowda and we both can't stop laughing..

I am thinking of circulating this to few friends Without giving any background. Let's see how many can figure out.

Unknown said...

Hi Hilal, I don't blog. But how can I not read your blog. It was nice to read. Great to remember the college jokes once again.