Nippon Aravali & Pram Kumar

Nippon Aravali: I found a nice Client for you

Pram Kumar: No Nippon, I will find a client myself.

Nippon Aravali: No you should go the client I found

Pram Kumar: Impossible, I can’t, Never...

Nippon Aravali: The Client I found is City Bank

Pram Kumar: Then I accepted.

“Nippon Aravali WENT TO City Bank's Senior Project Manager"

Nippon Aravali: I found a Nice Project Manager for You

City Bank's Senior Project Manager: No we don't need one now.

Nippon Aravali: But the person I found works as a Project manger for HSBC

City Bank's Senior Project Manager: Then I agreed.

“Nippon Aravali WENT TO PRESIDENT OF City Bank's Projects"

Nippon Aravali: I found a new Project manager for your projects which has been agreed by your Senior Project Manager

President: No I don't need any more Project Manager.

Nippon Aravali: But the man I found is the former College of your Senior Project Manager.

Funny: but Not Really

Ashok liked a girl, But was too scared to tell her. The problem is girl did not know who Ashok is. I was sent as an intermediary to tell her that Ashok likes her. Ashok was with few of friends when this girl was also walking by. I decided to introduce Ashok now. I told Ashok to raise his hand when I point my hand towards him so that the girl knows who you are. After that what happened I don't know, but few months later the girl came and asked me if Ashok really liked me or not.

People used to think that whoever standing inside the University library during evening time will soon become an IAS or IPS officer. Lot of my friends already have become. Lot of time is spent at the library in preparation. A friend of mine was writing the Civil Service Exam to become an IAS/ IPS officer. We used to take advantage of this and sneak to football matches at the nearby football stadium. I used to go and tell the poor Cops that we want to see the match. The policeman refuses. Then I tell him that My friend will be soon be an IPS officer. The policeman's attitude changes, he starts respecting us and lets us in. He tells me to ask my friend to get him a promotion. Sometime they have bought us snacks also besides letting us in to the ground.

A conductor once gave me balance in 1 rupee coins when I gave him 10 Rupess for a ticket. I asked him if I can 2 rupee notes which he was having in his hand. He shouted at me.I decided to take revenge on him. I started collecting 5 paise coins from that onwards. When I had enough coins( around 50). I got in the bus asked this same conductor for a ticket for 2.50 rupees. I gave him all the 50 coins. He asked me if I had notes. I said I had but I am not going to give to you. The people in the bus had a good laugh.

I got into a bus around 7 KM from my home. I have get down at a particular stop and walk for 1 KM to reach home. But due to some traffic problem the bus has to take some diversion. The Driver did not know the way. So I tool the responsibility of guiding the Driver. I told him the right way but made sure it will go in front of my house. To my my neighbour's shock they could see a KSRTC bus dropping me in front of the house.

My neighbour learned to drive a scooter. So he decided to try his luck in driving through the city. A policeman tried to stop him for jumping the signal. He hit the policeman and carried him on the front bumper. Finally he was forced to stop because of a hole dug by Telecom department for some urgent works. He applied the brake and the policeman fell in the hole. The policeman with great difficulty got out of the hole and screamed at my neighbour. But he got away as he was also working for the Police department.

During one of the exams A friend of mine has completed answering the questions well before the time. Poor guy what did he do? he decided to verify the answers by checking with the text book. He was caught for copying and his marks were made zero.

An SFI convention was arranged in Trivandrum. lot of Delegates came from various states. One delegate from Bengal asked an SFI leader from kerala ' Are there any Open Universities in Trivandrum' SFI leader's reply 'No No everything closes at 5 PM

My friends had written the script for a drama. A father( priest) was main lead. The priest had an assistant as well. The drama got lot of accolades. At a particular function without any notice they were asked to play the drama. Father did not have a gown and he had to wear a pants and shirt .The script was changed slightly to handle this Father asks the assistant where is his gown Assistant : I have washed it and it is not dry. This took care of that Embarrassment.

The weighing machine in railway station gives a message along with the weight. A classmate of mine bit heavy stood on the machine. The machine took a while to understand what was happening. It gave out a Ticket ' Two persons cannot stand at a time'. Seeing this a Light weighted friend of mine stood on the machine. This time the message ' Atleast some one should stand'

Mean But Comical: What do u think?

English Vinod is famous for his English. He was standing in front of University college. A foreigner asked him the way to the University Office which is few blocks away. English had difficulty in telling him they way in his English. So he took hold of the foreigner's hand and dragged him to university office. Pointing the finger to the building he said' University Office'

I had just completed my Cobol exam during my mainframe course. I was waiting for my next exam and was reviewing the lessons. I needed to go to the Loo urgently. I just walked into one of the bathrooms and then came out after using the Loo. As I coming out a a girl college of mine asked me what I am doing in ladies bathroom. At this point I realised that I had gone to the wrong place. Thank god no one screamed when I walked into ladies loo.

I was interviewing people during the Inter-collegiate festival for my magazine. I was told that Getha Krishanan had won the Mrithamgam completion. So I was waiting for a beautiful girl to turn up for the interview. To my surprise Getha krishan was a boy.

During one of the class exams a friend of mine who was has got a very good handwriting and writing with black ink gave her papers to me for copying. I was writing with blue ink. Around 20 mins in to photocopying, The Examiner( Survey Teacher) came to my desk. She had a look the answer sheet and started asking me questions.' Why you are writing with different inks' I said my black ink got over so I am using blue ink.' Why you have got 2 hand writing' I looked at my watch and said. Initially I was writing with more care and then I realised that I am running out of time, So I started writing a bit faster. This is the reason why you could see 2 different sets of handwriting. I could see my friend standing on the side of me shivering when I was answering the questions from the examiner. The Examiner seems to be convinced and walked away.

Once I crawled out of my class on my knees so the lecturer will not see. As as I was out of the class I could see 2 legs in front of me. I looked up saw the Head of Department standing there. I continued to crawl round his legs ignoring him. He pulled me up and put me back in the class.

We have to take a staff member with us during the All India tour. So the staff member joined us with his wife. His wife's Hindi was not good. She went to buy shirts for her nephew in Delhi. Her nephew was 5 years old. She went to the shop and said 'Panch Baje ke lye shirt chahiye( I need a shirt for 5 o'clock) instead of saying 'Panch saal ke baache ke liye ek shirt chahiye'( I need a shirt for a 5 year old). We could not control our laughter nor the confused shopkeeper.

A person who is six feet need a pant. What type of pant he needs a full length. So he bought a full length pant from a shop in Delhi. He put on his pant when he went to a beach in Goa. To his surprise the pant literally shrunk in front of him to be a half pant when he touched sea water

A friend of mine was walking from Palayalam to Bakery junction. A herd of Buffalo was walking in front of him. As he was trying to over take the buffalo. A buffalo flipped it tail and hit Rajesh right on his face. May be Rajesh has not seen the No-over taking sign on the road

Anil and Pradeep are very good friends, But they also keep fighting. One day Anil got bloody drunk.I was there to help Anil reach home. We were walking to the main road to get an Auto. An Auto was passing by and a Girl in the Auto waved at Us. Pradeep waved back. That was enough for Anil. A argument broke out between Anil and Pradeep. Anil was insisting that the girl in the Auto was his wife and Pradeep waved at her. Pradeep was arguing the girl was one of his friends. The argument was sorted out by giving a call to Anil's house. But the whole incident was to wind up Pradeep who can be annoyed very easily.

A friend of mine's Dad was working in FOREST DEPARTMENT. In front of his house a Name board says' XXXX, FOREST DEPARTMENT. He regularly bunks office and stay at home. So One day I decided to change it to XXXX, REST DEPARTMENT. He got annoyed on seeing this. But he got the message. He was less seen at Home during office hours

This is not the work of Kaalidasan. We decided to make a small tent. For this a main pole was needed. We decided to cut a tree from the nearby central jail compound. We choose the wrong place and wrong tree as well. We cut a tree on which the jail wardens were sitting. They came down with tumble and we ended up in their hands.

Crashing into wedding: Call it Like That

After completing Engineering I any my friend had a few months before we got jobs. Morning was spend at university library, MLA quarters canteen and university office. This was for improving the GK. Evening was spend wandering around Statue and Library. Whatever experience we gained was a part of learning curve. We built lot of new contacts, met different people and learned many things. We always wanted to do something different.hence decided to experiment something new during day time.

Trivandrum has lot of Kalyana Mandapam(wedding hall). Lot of Marriages take place every day (except Karkada Month). We decided to attend few of the wedding as uninvited guests. the tasty food accompanying the wedding fascinated us. We had a liking for Christian and Muslim weddings as Biriyani attracted us a lot. 'Make no mistake' our parents never know of it for a long time. They were well off in taking care of us. But we became 'wedding Crashers' just for the fun of it.

Every morning I or my friend will scan through the top Malayalam newspapers looking for a weddings. If he finds an interesting one. He will give me a call. The only problem is when there is a Muslim and a Christian wedding at the same time. We have make sure we choose the right wedding/distance to travel and also food into consideration. We usually alternate between Christian and Muslim weddings. Next thing is to tell our Mothers a reasonable story for avoiding the lunch. There will be lot of questions as why we want to avoid lunch. As usual we were good with coming up with stories. Some believable some bouncers, But anything works.

A bit more information about who was getting married, groom and Bride's names etc will be noted down. We also have to make sure that we are well dressed for the wedding. Ironing the shirts and pants regularly raises doubts in our parents minds. Couple of questions are asked by our parents and some standard answers. But we made sure that the ironing process does not take place everyday. I will walk down to the main road and my friend will pick me up in his Dad's car. The distance was always a factor as we cannot end up paying for petrol with the small pocket money we get.

We drive up to the wedding hall. There will someone already standing at the entrance to catch the Wedding Crashers. As we are gentlemen and driving to the wedding we waved in. Usually car is a considered a 'prestige( Not the pressure cooker) item'. After parking the car we walk to the hall. As we look cool and composed and joking all the way we don't have to worry. We will make sure we are coordinated in our answers and smile at everyone. This is to create a good impression and also confuse people. Sometimes we are asked ' Are you from girl's side or boy's side' We will give out the pre-meditated answer. We will be directed to the respective seats. We make sure that we pick up conversation with people next to us. This is just for passing time and avoid some suspicious looks so called Ex-military guys who think they are 'intelligent'.

After the formal wedding Ceremony we move to the Food hall. There will be a queue for getting into the food hall. We will in the first 20. This way we will get the taste of the first batch of food. Usually food will be very good. During the lunch time we chat with people sitting next to us to make 'them' feel comfortable. The whole lunch process gets over in around 20 minutes time. We have now achieved our objective for the day. Get a lemon as a proof of wedding.

You all might be wondering ' Will these guys walk off after the food'. No we are not like that. We will have hang around for sometime watching the colorful people. Once the bride and groom are free; We walk up to them. Sometimes I will introduce myself to the Couple. the surprised Couple will be wondering who am I and who is with me. I will then introduce my friend.This process will reverses in the next wedding. From there faces it is so obvious they don't know us. They don't want to question us thinking it might be insult us. Sometimes we were asked who we where. We go back to the Old Pre-Degree days. Did you study in Arts College or Mar Ivanios for pre-degree. Starting a conversation from college days will be the beginning of many embarrassing stories. The Confused couple will be looking at each other and there relatives who are these guys. It does not not matter us. They might be thinking some distant relatives children either bride or groom's side. We then stand with the couple and take a snap. You guys should not start looking at the wedding albums to see if we were there in your wedding or not. We also will them good luck for their future. We are pleased and drive home.

The Wedding crashing plans were sometimes failure. Many times we run into our relatives and family friends and we were forced to back out. Sometimes we will be sitting next to people whom we know and having lunch. Sometimes we will asked lot of questions. we have to wriggle out of these situations. But most of the times we achieve our objectives.

We were members of Soorya film society. Soorya arranges various functions at Tagore theatre. Kerala is famous for Power-cuts. There will be a half to one hour break during power-cuts. Poor Tagore theatre did not have a generator. Sri-Moolam club is near to Tagore theatre. Sri-Moolam club usually had parties in the evening. We will usually spent the power-cut time crashing into these parties.

The funny thing is that for my Cousin's wedding, I was given the job of locating the Other Wedding crashers. It is like giving the key to.... Do you think I will we standing there looking for the Crashers.

A new version of a programmer is born

Kuttan Chatterji is retiring today 1st June 2065 from Software industry at the age of 65. Kutaan Chatterji's real name is Kuttan from Chittur in Kerala.He was born on February.15th 2000 His neighbours called him Chitturji. His friends combined it as Kuttan Chitturji. Gradually it became Kuttan Chatterji. Kuttan's cabin Overlooked the beautiful Marine Drive in Mumbai. One more time Kuttan gazed out through the window. Few drops of tear rolled down his cheeks.

Kuttan's Software Life cycle began at the age of 21 when he was recruited from the Calicut University Campus Recruitment. He Joined ABC Technologies in Mumbai. His software life PROJECT INTIATION cycle started in the Sprawling campus in Mumbai. He was Allocated as Resource to a Financial Project on Java Platform. No one asked him which Technology he wanted. Kuttan never questioned also as he was new. Deep in hearts he wanted to work in Oracle. In fact without his permission an Environment was set-up for Kuttan to work. Kuttan became an entry in one of the Project Management-MS Project tool. Now Kuttan had no control on himself, he was more like a project. His life is based on the Project Management Plan.

Kuttan was fun loving guy and also cooks very well. He wanted to spend some time in the evening playing, doing some social work or chatting with neighbourhood girls. Kuttan has a small group of friends who are his neighbours. They have taken up organising activities in the housing society where he was staying. Now these are getting curtailed as he has spend most of his evening at the office to please his Project Lead(PL). Otherwise someone else will please the Project Lead by washing his clothes. Office Colleagues were not friends anymore. They were Entries in Project Plan trying to outdo each other and biting behind the back.

A Risk Analysis of Kuttan was done in the next stage. He was given some training. His Bio-data was updated with fake projects to fool the clients. As a part of the Contingency plan Kuttan also had a Shadow. As the offices are fully lighted up no one has a shadow. So the management decided to have few persons shadowing the other team members. But the real Contingency plan is when something fails, arm twisting of the resources are done, made to sit late and sort it out. Rather than 8 hours Kuttan was forced to work for 12 to 13 hours. Kuttan realised that Project Planning in reality is threatening with no salary hike, no promotion and pleasing the Project Lead. Project Leads never retain Records of this. In books Project Lead is a good guy more interested in pleasing his Line manager by polishing his shoes. Problem Reporting is basically complaining against a team member who is a potential threat to the Project Lead or his pet. Kuttan was basically Monitored and Controlled. He is only a Module if the Company is considered a Software.

As a part of his Pre-Development appraisal for the year has to be done. New Ideas were identified. Potential Approaches for his Development was discovered. As a part of the Feasibility study mid-year reveiew will be done. The ideas and approaches were Refined to suit his Project Lead and Kuttan was put back in to the system as an Updated module. Kuttan never wanted to discuss to anyone about his Pre-development. But by the end of the 3rd year in the Company Kuttan got promoted as a version 2 Module. This did not bring much excitement to Kuttan.

Kuttan gradually became invisible during daylight. Kuttan's neighbour Sardar asked Him 'Chitturji Aree Wah Aap Bade Athmi ban gaye ' Aajkal Deekita be nahi'. Kuttan responded will talk to you later and went off. Kuttan had not even gone to his native place for 2.5 years. Kuttan's family in Chittur wanted him to come for few weeks. Finally Kuttan took off for Chittur for 3 weeks.

Three weeks in Chittur was refershing. He mets his family, his sister and brother. He wandered around with his friends. Watched few films. Everyone was given a treat for his new job. Kuttan met his soft-corner Anjali as well. The train journey back to Mumbai made him realise that he was a part of a bigger system and his company is only a small module in the bigger system. Kuttan was also under pressure to get married as well. He Analysed his functions and decided to integerate more in to the bigger software's System Architecture.

To be Continued....................

Magical moments

A Classmate of mine Anil got Zero in the Exam. Lecturer has put '0' in the answerer sheet. On seeing this my classmate was confused. Anil went to lecturer and asked if the '0' is out of the total 30 Mark or 50 Mark. Now the Lecturer was confused.

Anil always travelled by Bus to College. Anil father bought him a new Bike. Anil came to College on the Bike oneday. On that particular day there was a Student's Protest. The College closed early. We got into a Bus went to the City. Half way through the Journey Anil realised that he had come to college by bike. But he got his bike back when he reached College.

Anil was an average student. During the exams he passes around 8 papers. When University exam results were published, Anil went to look for the results. He came home and told his father that he failed in all the papers. His dad was surprised and he went to University to Check the results again. The University publishes the result in a specific format. First people who has passed all the subjects Roll numbers will be there followed by Roll numbers of the persons who have failed in the respective subjects. If you have failed in all Subjects your Roll Number will not be there. Anil's dad came back and told him that he has passed. The reason is Anil never looked at the All Pass Section
Anil had a nickname called 'Wollen'- meaning Wolf. One of our Lecturer also had the same nickname. Anil came to the class very late when the Lecturer nicknamed Wollen was giving the lecture. He was furious when Anil came in late. He was screaming at Anil ' You always comes late to my Class Why'. I passed a loud Commnet ' You cannot have 2 Wollens at the same time in one Class'. Everybody had a good laugh.

Raman never Liked the Concrete block crushing test in Civil Engineering lab. He decided that he will mug up the values and use it in the experiment.In the exam he got it what he didnot want. He spent half an Hour fiddling with the machine and produced the results. He handed over the results to the Examiner. Examiner asked Raman to explain how he did the test. He said he did this that and got the results. Examiner was still not convinced. He asked how did you do the test when there is no Power Supply. Raman never realised this.

Raman had the lab exam in the afternoon. That was the time when the Examiner has his Coffee and snacks( vada and stuff). Examiner had pieces of paper folded and kept on the desk. each contained the name of the experiment. Raman had to take one of the folded paper to know what experiment he had to do. Raman came to the desk. Examiner asked him to take one. Raman said 'No I don't want'. Examiner said you must take one. Raman took a Vada from the Examiner's plate. Examiner held Raman's hand and said not vada, but one of the paper slips.
Saji has not prepared for his Foundation engineering exam. So he decided to copy from the book. He kept the books under the desk. As soon as he got the questions he started copying from the book. The Kind hearted Examiner came to Saji and took his book away. When he came to Saji again he found him still copying from a book. Examiner took the book away. He came for the third time to Saji. He found him still copying from the Foundation Engineering book. Finally Examiner decided to look under Saji's desk. To his surprise he found 15 to 20 copies of Foundation Engineering book which Saji has collected from all of us before the exam.

Our Class room has all the windows to the left handside when we are facing the blackboard. The Doors are to the right handside. Ajith was sitting near to the door. During a lectuer session Ajith stood up and said to the lecturer that his pen has fell out of the window. Lecturer was surprised. he said You are sitting to the right side where there is no window. Then how did the pen fall out of the window which is far away from you. He pulled the pen out of the hand from a person sitting next to him and threw it out of the window. It flew out this way sir. The Lecturer was left confused.

Sandeep's dad bought a car. One afternoon when his dad tried to start the car, it was not firing. He called us to give the car a push so that the car can be started by putting in the gear. However hard we pushed the car was not moving. Sandeep's dad was furious. He started screaming at us. 'You Guys are useless Push harder' We pushed harder still no use. Finally we have to ask him to take the leg from the Brake. He kept pushing the Brake down.

Engineering College decided to have a new Architecture block. A minister was drafted in to lay the Foundation stone(This is a small brick structure 1M X 1M with the Minister's name and day the stone was laid engraved on a black marble). Few of my friends got drunk and pushed the foundation stone down and it broke. They were taken to the Principal's room. Principal asked for explantaion. One person's reason was 'A Tornado came via the Corridor and pushed the foundation stone down'. Another person's reason 'We thought it was a brick wall and tried to climb over it and it fell down'. They were finally forced to pay its cost

Two persons have exhanged the papers to one another so that they can copy in the exam. The Examiner saw it. He wanted to catch them 'RED Handed' when they return the paper. Examiner came an stood in front of them. Poor Guys were stuck. Out of the blue they got an idea. Both of them dropped the papers on the floor and it was mixed up. They pulled out from the pile each of their respective answer sheets. Now the Examiner was caught Flat Footed.

A Mathematics professor decided to prove a theory in Trignometry. He wrote on the board

Sine^2 Theta + Cos^2 Theta = 1. Once he completed the sequence of steps it became Sine^2 Theta + Cos^2 Theta = 2. What will the Professor do just change the theory to what he got(Sine^2 Theta + Cos^2 Theta = 2) which unfortunately was not the correct one.

In Electrial lab everyone has to come wearing pants and shirt. It being Anila's birthday. She decided to come to lab wearing a saree. When doing an experiment she got into some probelem. So she called the lab Attentator to have a look. The edge of her saree had fallen on 2 piece of wire which she had been using for the experiment. The Attentator came to her and to remove the saree so that he can see the Wire(Wire in fact in Malayalam mean Stomach - This is basically meant for mallus). Anila was bit surprised and we all had a good laugh.

I lived at Poojapura(behind Central Jail). We had an isolated  short cut  to Poojapura via the outer boundary of Central Jail. One day I see a tall girl walking in front me. I introduced myself to her and we became friends. We used to meet up and walk via the isolated short cut. One day I reached Poojapura bus stop. As it was raining heavily I waited at the bus stop. Our Cable operator, came with an umbrella and offered me a lift. I politely said 'no'.  After sometime another bus comes and my lovely friend steps out of the bus. She indicates me to join her. As this Cablewalla is waiting next me, I can't join her. After 2 minutes I run out into the rain and join her umbrella. Cablewalla gets suspicious and follows me. He see me sharing umbrella with her. Cablewalla and my lovely friend's dad are friends. Trouble is brewing for us. Next day my lovely friend tells me that her dad asked about me. I told my sister and my mum about this girl and her dad will come for a visit. Few days later my lovely friend's dad arrives at home. He explains 'Your Son is spoiling my daughter's life'. My mum responds ' Why not marry them off'. My friend's dad steams out of my house.,,, There ends another potential love story. My Mum sees my Lovely friend after few days. Her reaction to me after seeing her ' You should continue to meet her'.... 

Onam - My Onam

The word ONAM means Onam-Needed-Among-Malayalees. ONAM brings a lot of memories spanning from childhood days at different places.My grandfather was a farmer. He was involved in Rice cultivation and many more. ONAM is celebrated after the paddy harvesting. Lot of activities takes place in the court yard of my house in my native place. I am not allowed into these activities, but watch through the window. On the first chance I jump out and run towards the mountain of paddy and hay stack. I will be pulled out from there and 'placed' near the window again. The whole thing ends a few days before Onam when the workers are paid in Rice. The hay will be stacked round a pole and is used for feeding the cattle. Now I am allowed to go out. My OONJAL or Swing will be ready waiting for me in the branch of a Badam tree in front of my house. I will be allowed to use it if only some elders are there. The first ONAM is ‘Uthradam' is the time when snacks were made. A part of it will be kept for me and part will be hidden from me so that I won't finish it in one go. But I will find it out as well. I will be swinging on my OONJAL and occasionally race to the house to open the tins to get the snacks. My mother
and grand mother might think it a cat over the tins. In the evening a Lamp will be lit in front of the house to welcome Maveli. Thiruvonam is the day for feast ONASADHYA. Kitchen will be active early morning. I will sneak in to get bits of Coconut. By 11 Am I will go down to a river nearby and have a dip and swim in the river. Back home I will be putting on a new dress OnamKodi. The feast will be ready. My dad, Grandfather, sister and my self will be having the lunch in a Banana Leaf. After the lunch I am allowed to go out and play with neighborhood kids or watch a film with the big Cousins. In the evening I will be waiting for my Grandmother (Dad’s Mum) to turn up to see me. She comes with lot of things to eat. After Thiruvonam the major activity will be on the 4th ONAM Chathayam which ends with a procession. Sree Naryana Guru Jayanthi is also celebrated on this day.

With Changing times I moved to Trivandrum, The capital city. I used to visit native place during ONAM. With Rice farming not a profitable business the harvesting activates got reduced gradually. But My OONJAL will be there. ONAM was taken over by Clubs and political organizations. They arrange a lot of games and sports. I am allowed to take part. Now I being a city kid, the kids in my village was not that friendly anymore except a few. I have got prizes for Roti Kadi- Bread biting and Carom. The ONAM function ends with Prize distribution and a fight called Onathalle. Most of the activities take place in front of my house so I can watch these things from my home.

With my Grandfather no more with us, the Rice farming was not there anymore. The paddy fields were replaced with profitable banana farming. Onasadhaya was the only major function. In Trivandrum there is government sponsored ONAM functions. I come back from my native place to watch the ONAM Procession. It passes in front of my dad's office (Revenue Board), so I always get a vantage point to watch it.

During my High school days and Pre-university days, I celebrated ONAM at Trivandrum. It became more like watching films, an Onasadhya at home and 4th ONAM is celebrated at some friend’s place, Watching the illumination and ONAM Procession. I visit my native place to meet my grandmother and other relatives.

ONAM became more exciting during my College days. I and my friends took over the ONAM activities of my neighborhood. There will be Athapookalm Competition (Flower Arrangement) on Thiruvonam for each apartment block. For my Block I and my sister took over the organizing, designing and making of the Atham. On the Eve of Thiruvonam flowers will be bought and depending on the Design the petals will be removed. Early morning I will draw the design and the Girls there will put the flowers. By 12'o clock after the Onasadhya the winner will be named. In the evenings I and my friends will wander around Kanakakunnu palace grounds. The palace grounds will be colourful with people with all age group and a lot of variety entertainments. The whole thing gets over with a Float on the last day. ONAM changed from Traditional to Commercial.

The Other exciting aspect of the Onam during my Engineering days was the Inter-collegiate Athapookalam Competition. It was arranged by the College Union. We were there to watch the Girls from the Women's Colleges. Engineering college's Inter Branch Athapookalam Competition was also there. My class used to have 2 Teams. A genuine team other led by me to have a flower arrangement with a Comical theme. My team also gets a prize for innovative ideas. The Flower arrangement competition ends with an OnaThallu. The College closes for ONAM vacation.

Years went by now I celebrate Onam outside of Kerala (Marunadan Malayalee). In the Fast paced life in London Onam is another day at work. Probably on the weekend my wife will prepare all the traditional stuff and the Payasam.

2006 Onam we had an Onasadhaya arranged by a Malu association at Borehamhood. This is the real Onasadhaya, I had for a long time.
What I love the most of ONAM is that, this is the only festival celebrated by all Malayalees irrespective of Religion or Caste. Everybody celebrates within their limits. Maveli will be very happy to see his Praja still celebrating Onam

Buoy is still Floating

Disclaimer: All the characters are fictitious and have no relationship to any one in dead or alive.

The Buoy stuck Jagayar Martinology Solutions(JMS) like a bolt from blue. A crisis meeting was organised at JMS on August 28th 500 light years. Tipu Next was asked to attend the meeting. The Spin doctors who attended the meeting are Nippon Aravli, Oriya Gowda, Pram Kumar and Someone called 'High Command' ('Next Level People')

The agenda for the meeting

'Oh Buoy, Why the Cricket Match was leaked to press and We want our Buoy back and Why we did not win any medals in the JMS games'

'High Command' was the Chair for the meeting. Nippon Aravli was eyeing for that chair and Pram Kumar as usual has already tipped of the 'High Command' "keep an eye on Nippon Aravli;He is after your chair." Tipu Next only realised this when 'High Command' went out of the room for an Urgent Phone Call carrying the Chair along with him.

Nippon Aravali wanted an explanation why Tipu Next wrote the story. Tipu told that he was writing the Specifications for a project and ended up as a Buoy. Nippon Aravali was satisfied with the explanation. He praised Tipu for following JMS's standards. Pram Kumar wanted to know which project it was. Tipu said it was one of the Shipping project and it is not your problem. Pram wanted to know Why Tipu has written that he can only speak one word 'Not guilty'. Tipu blamed the Spell Checker. Nippon and 'High Command' were happy with the reasons. They summed up saying that Tipu you can become a Manager in JMS as you are not willing to take up responsibilities and also good in blaming others.

Oriya Gowda was unhappy with Tipu. He told Tipu that 'Hurricane Katrina hit the Buoy' was not a reason he has told. Tipu said the neighbour's Kid was was born when 'Hurricane Katrina' hit New Orleans. So they named the kid as 'Hurricane Katrina'. It was she who hit one of the Buoys in front of my house with a Sling. As Oriya Gowda started to talk Nippon Aravli and Pram Kumar said that is enough of that Topic. Oriya Gowda was basically asked to shut up.

'High Command' said let us move on. He wanted to know from Nippon and Pram Kumar why the Cricket rules were changed when there is already a Standard set of Rules. Pram Kumar said 'Not guilty'. Tipu could not control is Laughter. Oriya Gowda was looking as though he was bitten by a Bunch of Wasp. Nippon said the Rules of Cricket was changed because there was a tight deadline and make the match difficult. This way there will be more Bugs and all the Support work will come to JMS. 'High Command' said that what we do for Projects. But that is not the reason for Changing the rules of an internal Cricket Match. You are promoting your Personal agenda and not following the Company guidelines. Nippon was surprised ' He was seen Muttering to Himself How this fellow knows about it'. Nippon angrily looked at Pram Kumar.

Things tooks a while to settle down. In the mean time 'High Command' and Pram Kumar were busy having another internal discussion in their local language. The way they were discussing;It looked like they were talking about passing a UN resolution for solving the Lebanon problem. Tipu was bit amused and was drawing pictures. Pram Kumar wanted to Know from Tipu why he is called Hubble Telescope. Tipu said ' Just like Hubble telescope looks for new information from Space and pass it to command centre; You also do the same thing' Pram Kumar was not amused but Nippon and Oriya Gowda's faces brightened.

The meeting's most important topic 'Should Tipu return the Buoy' was taken for discussion. Tipu was asked for reasons for keeping the Buoy. Tipu said Since Katrina hit it. It was damaged. Tipu wanted some extra incentive to return it. 'High Command' did some calculations like Moldar = Length of M25* Number of Speed cameras /Amount of rain that fell in Aravali for the last 10 years. An Amount was calculated for letting Tipu keep the Buoy and the revenue to the Company. 'Next Level People' decided that JMS will bury the Buoy for next 100 light years and then return it Tipu. Tipu was bit amused by it. What a middle management. The concept is we do not have the authority to do anybody any good, but we will make sure that good things will not reach anybody.

The Last Topic was taken up 'Why we did not win any medals in the JMS games'. A cold war was developing between Nippon and 'High Command' as Nippon kept glancing at High Command's chair. Nippon Aravli and Pram Kumar reason 'Why we did not win any medals in the JMS games' is because there is no game worth for us to win a medal. Tipu said next year we should include musical Chairs or pull someone off from the chair. This medal definitely will be won by Nippon Aravli and Pram Kumar. 'High Command' said we cannot have that game; still holding on to his chair.

Tipu left the meeting as an argument was still going between the 'Next Level People'.

Akasahagopuram - A day at the sets

Reading newspaper is good. But what happens when reading lot of newspapers. Probably you will get a different view point of the same things. Sometimes you might find something that will interest you. This happened to me. Browsing Kaumudi online I noticed that My College mate's dad is in London directing a film. I decided my Luck in trying to trace them. Since Leaving Cognizant Technology Solutions my burnt out initiatives are back. I called up the reporter for Kerala Kaumudi to know the where about of the Film unit from Kerala. He gave me the contact number of a well of Mallu Business man in London who provided me the details of the hotel where the crew was staying. I contacted the hotel looking for MR K.P. Kumaran, but there was no one in that name booked in the hotel. What is the next option ask for MohanLal (Mallu Superstar).That clicked. Mohan Lal gave the phone number of my friend Manu. The other major incident's happening in the world were England well placed against Pakistan at Lords, Middle East back to crisis. Talking to right people is the best way to get results.

After speaking to Manu it was decided that Saturday 22nd July is the best day to meet him.
Shooting was well into middle stages, so no roles for me. The North circular road is traffic
nightmare. Crawling through North Circular road myself, my wife and Vinoo reached the film shooting location. The location is beautiful and famous with the house, river and now us. We have advertised a lot about our visit.
It was drizzling a bit; the shooting was on hold. Walking straight to Mohanlal I introduced myself to him. You know my sound and name; I am the person who called up you for the director's contact details. That is my style (probably an aggressive way). He told me; Yeah, I know you. I was about to call you after getting your message. But you called me before that. Mohanlal finally had a chance to meet me. I introduced my wife and Vinoo to Mohanlal.
Vinoo was in a shock seeing the rich and famous from Malluwood. Dazed Vinoo was finally ready for taking photos. Starting with hero we gradually met the Cast of the film. Manoj K Jayan, Shweta Menon, Geetu Mohandas and Nithya Menon.
I was so pleased to see Manu's father K.P. Kumaran well after 15 years. With age catching up, he is bit lean now. I was told that MR Manu (happened to be the producer) will be there only after an hour. Manu’s mother will be coming in half an hour's time. We wandered around the location. The place is a lovely big house acres of space, tennis court, basket ball court and river Thames running behind the house. What else more you need, except the owner a nagging guy. But it is his house. The director gave a small briefing about the film, how the scenes were being shot. Many technical aspects of the film making were explained to us. Sound recording and photography fascinated me a lot. I wanted to a peep through the camera, but that did not happen. Finally we had a Mallu chaya (tea) bringing in the taste and touch of Kerala.
Back to where the cast is. I was talking to Manoj K Jayan, Shweta and Geetu Mohandas about how they felt about London. Did they go off to see the landmarks and all? We were talking a lot about Trivandrum, Poojapura with Mohanlal and whole lot of Stuff.
Manu’s Mother joined us now. Meeting her after a long time, there are many things to update. Provided a short version of what I was doing for the last 15 years etc.
A crew member was making models for indoor shooting. He used Thermocol and plaster of Paris for making it. He is so good in making it made me wonder of the effort people have to put in to make a film. You just pay 10 pounds or 100 rupees to watch a film. Few people become stars few people don't. The Technical staffs who are the part of the film making never gets recognized. I met Pattanam Rashid. He is the make up guy. He makes everyone look good. He is in the film industry for the last 25 years. I have seen his name on the screen X^n number of times. Finally I was able to associate the face with the name.
All of a sudden I find Bharth Gopi sitting there. A one time star of Mallu Movies a talented actor. He was stuck by paralysis. After years of rehabilitation he is back to what he does the best acting. I spend some time chatting with him. I also got a rare opportunity of taking a snap of Bharth Gopi and KP Kumaran (The only snap available in the world of them together).The heroine of the film Nithya Menon also joined in. Spoke with her for some time and some photos as well.
Director invited us for Dinner. I my wife and Vinoo joined the Dinner with the cast. Shweta Menon serving you, for a change it is good. I entered into a small conversation with Geetu Mohandas. She was telling me how she is missing idili dosa etc. They have been to East Ham and felt like Kerala. Mallu's as usual running around stopping her for taking pictures with. Dinner Got over,
Finally Manu arrived. I was Shocked seeing him. May be we can use him as Sightscreen (In cricket). Manu and I did a lot of catching up from College days to present. How 2 civil engineers ended up in two different fields. We gossiped about the old college days, the college elections, the fights cricket and old batch mates. Mohanlal joined us telling us how he was responsible for making us meet.
As the sun set, the crew was given orders to pack up, the tired cast and the crew got ready to leave. We also decided to leave to know what is happening in the world. It was a memorable day. I was getting confused with the names Manu and Vinoo for a while.

Weekend in North Wales

Bank Holiday is an expected one. Even the Bank holiday never expected this when we decided to go for a driving trip. Vinoo and Niyas came up with idea, Ravi and Tara backed it. I too joined with my wife Zubeen. 2 cars (Mazda and Jaguar) were ready and 7 people. Everybody's buffer Mehar was recruited to be the 8th person. The place was decided North Wales, but where are we going to stay and what are the places we are going to see. Zubeen booked the hotel for 4 people. She also prepared an itinerary of the places. Others agreed for the plan of action. Ravi booked for the remaining 4 people.

May 26th 4 PM the Mazda with Hilal Zubeen Mehar and Vinoo left London to North Wales. Navigator for the day was Zubeen. The plan was to meet Jag Guys some where for dinner. The Jag guys Tara, Ravi, Tara and Senthil left from High Wycombe. The North circular road is a traffic nightmare. We crawled and reached Hanger lane. Picking up speed we raced to Wales. As junctions went by Wales was getting nearer. Crawling againTraffic slowed us again. The Mazda was a Mallu Car and the Agenda was to Teach Mehar Malayalam in 3 days. The Jag updates were via Niyas's Phone.
Around 8.30 PM it was decided to take a break. A service station was an ideal spot. We checked in at one after Birmingham. Eat whatever you get. People have difficulty in choosing from menu, but choosing from 2 fast foods was very difficult for Vinoo. With great difficulty he picked up Burger King. The break was refreshing. Rocks were falling on the planned route. So we were forced to take diversion.
The Journey from the Service station to Betws y Coed was sensational exciting and Mazda had a huge fan-car following. Tara was making sure that the Wales transport information will be awake all night. Zubeen made sure that the owners of our accommodation will not fall asleep. The hair pin roads made me keep the speed within 40MPH. As I was leading the pack there was a convoy of cars. This was different from a US convoy in Iraq. After losing the way couple of times we were able to reach the Bed and Breakfast by 1 AM. Vinoo and Mehar were dumped at the first Place. I and my wife moved to the farm house. The JAG guys have to travel another 1 hour to reach their village.
May 27th first day of the trip to Wales. As per the plan JAG and MAZDA will meet at the slate mines. Looking out through the window we could see the lovely farm we were staying. The green hills and the sheep’s was a treat to eyes. Had breakfast and then drove down the winding roads to pick up Mehar and Vinoo. 10.30 We were at the slate mines of Ffestiniog. JAG also reached there. As good things don't begin well, The Mines were closed for Weekly maintenance and will be open only in the afternoon. So we decided to go to Snowdonia-The hill railways.
Vinoo was the TOM-TOM for the day for MAZDA. Driving from the hotel to Ffestiniog was perfect no problems. As we were driving to Snowdonia, TOM-TOM told me to take a left, I took the left and we went up the hills down in to the valley but Snowdonia was no where to be seen. No mobile connectivity to call JAG guys. We stopped the car and asked for directions. We were informed that we took a wrong turn and now have to go round the hills to reach Snowdonia. Finally we reached Snowdonia, but explored new places on the way. TOM-TOM was downgraded to TOM-DOM. The JAG guys were saying, we could see you take a wrong turn and go down the Hill, What we could do only was wave our hands hoping someone will look back. We were in middle ages in this communication age.
The JAG guys were waiting for us with tickets to go up Snowdonia mountain rail. We had a quick lunch. Snowdonia is a very beautiful place with slate Mountains, green hills, and the occasional smoke from the trains. We all were stuffed into a carriage. The Mountain train works on a Rack and Pinion arrangement. It will take an hour to reach the top. There was commentary going on explaining the history. As we rolled up into the clouds, there were the occasional clicks and flashes. It started getting cold and windy. When we reached the top it was very windy and raining as well. We did a bit a trekking up the mountain. It was very difficult to see anything; but you won't get lost if you follow Niyas's laughter. After around 30 minutes up the highest point, we rolled down. Back at Snowdonia few more snaps were taken. A quick decision was made to go back to Slate mines at Ffestiniog.
Driving up the mountain pass we have to reach the slate mines before 5.15. JAG and MAZDA reached there on time for the journey to the mines. We all were given Blue helmets (Training for future UN peace keeping forces). It was a 30 minutes experience. The story of the miners who lived worked and died there was presented to us. It was a lively experience. Back to level ground we decided to explore and take pictures. Lot of Pictures of Niyas was taken to prove again Darwin's Theory that man came from Monkeys. Finally we were forced out as they have to close the place. First day got over and back to Betws y Coed for dinner.
We decided to wander along the stream and forest at Betws y Coed. Up the stream we trekked along. Niyas was leading the trek as though he is Veerappan. We found a perfect place to freak out. A Rope was tied to a branch overlooking the river. Everyone will have to make a swing and come back to the bank without touching the water. I did not try because of my height. Ravi Tara, Zubeen Niyas and Niyas did it well. Senthil was the best. Vinoo was scared the tree might fall down when he swings. Mehar tried and he was thinking that he was some saint who can walk in the water. He swung right in to water and walked back to the bank. The Sheeps on the other side of the bank were surprised. If that video clip is sent to You Been Framed the cost of the trip can be covered.
Everyone was tired and hungry. We decided to have dinner. The food was hot so also the topic of dinner "How come Vinoo and Mehar ended up sharing a bed". The discussion had everything to replace the "CNN-Connects” by Jim Clancy. Dinner ended when everyone decided to retreat to bed. MAZDA and JAG moved to the respective destinations.
A bright and sunny weather greeted us on May 28th. The plan was to meet the JAG guys at Conwy castle. After an English breakfast, we drove down to pick Vinoo and Mehar. We decided to wander along the Betws y Coed road by the time Mehar got ready. By 10 pm we drove up to Conwy. The 45 minute ride was good round the beautiful country side. I am officially the only Mazda driver. My body was aching a lot. We stopped by the garden and took some photos. A bored dog with a ball in his mouth came to play with us for sometime. The dog was looking for someone to play with.
The JAG guys arrived. We decided to move into the castle. Conwy castle protects the main town centre. It has sea to one side. We wandered around the castle. Everyone was competing with one another who will take the best photos. The castle trip did not have any major incident. Lunch was taken at the castle. From there we drove to LLanludno. A 20 minutes drive took us there.
Llandudno has kept its Victorian and Edwardian elegance and splendour, despite its modern attractions. LLanludno has a beach, Vinoo directed us to beach with pebbles. A competition as who will throw the stone longest into the sea was won by Ravi. We moved to another part of the beach to play Frisbee. That was really good, everyone tried the Frisbee. Some with power accuracy and dip, some wave ward. Some could catch and some don't. An hour of Frisbee then we walked down the Pier.
In the evening we decided to drive up the hill to see the river meeting the Sea. The drive round the mountain and cliff was exciting. We stopped by and wandered round the cliff to take some photos. Vinoo and Niyas decided to go up a part of cliff searching for Dalai Lama. When they came back they found both the cars were gone. We drove down back to the town centre in search of the Worst Restaurant to have dinner.
Dinner was miserable. The hotel was an Indian one. They are out there to fool people. Every stupidity they did had a reason (probably managed by my previous Company).We were made to wait for hours. Someone had gone to buy a chicken. The hotel had a shortage of Flour for roti, so they added cement. The roti was like round slabs. The Curry was like some one bought it from Super market and water was added to it. I was forced to complain. In the end we have to find something from petrol station to eat. 10.30 we left from LLanludno to hit the bed.
May 29th we left Betws y Coed to London. We are supposed to meet the JAG guys at LLangollen. It was raining a bit. The drive was good. There was a diversion and an accident which held us up for a while. Finally we arrived at the destination. With great difficulty found a parking spot. We walked to pub which was an old Corn mill, then something else and finally a PUB. We wandered around the beautiful LLangollen. Lunch was taken at the pub. By around 3.30 the final phase of the Wales trip was complete. Drove back to London. The trip was highly successful and implemented on time.

My Buoy- The Struggle to get it

Disclaimer: All the characters of this story are born in India and do not resemble to anyone in real life

Tipu Next works for a company called Jagayar Martinology Solutions(JMS). It is basically an on-Mars off-Earth company based on the foot hills of Aravali Mountain ranges. It does most of its business in Mars Supporting moftware for Marsineans. JMS has never developed any software themselves. When MARS became expensive they outsourced it to Earth. Tipu Next was poached from H&R Infotech by JMS in a place called Marondon. Marondon is the financial hub of Mars. JMS is the vendor for an Marsvedic Data (Similar to Ayurveda in Earth) Company(MDC). It collects and processes data. When Tipu Next and his friends joined JMS, life was very difficult as the existing employees didn't want them to join the Company. They had their reasons as they are Aravallians who are very conservative and selfish (except the few who are still Tipu's friends).
Working in JMS became very difficult as the days went by. The Client MDC was happy with Tipu Next. The hate-hate relationship between the JMS account Manager Nippon Aravli and Tipu Next started increasing day by day. In JMS, Tipu Next's immediate line manager was Oriya Gowda.

Nippon Aravli holds the record for making the maximum number of employess people quit JMS.
In 2005 JMS became a billion Molldar company (Molldar is the currency of Mars). JMS decided to give every employee in the pay roll of the company as on January 2006 a Buoy. Buoy is an MApple product meant to do many things. Sometimes Buoy can also be used as a navigation equipment. Buoy had to obtained from Pluto as it is very cheap there. All the employees at the time were supposed to get the Buoy by March 2006. But due to logistical reasons and non-availability of Damaged Buoys there has been a delay. You may wonder why Buoys were given. It sometimes floods around the Aravali mountains. So we have to use a boat as a means of transport. At this time the Buoy can used as a navigation aid. They never realized that these buoys will be a become a problem during summer. More like a standard JMS project estimation and delivery. The end product never serves the purpose.
Tipu Next quit JMS in the mean time.Technically even though Tipu Next was not with JMS anymore Tipu Next was supposed to receive the Buoy. Nippon Aravli did not want to give the Buoy to Tipu Next. Basically Nippon Aravli bluffs a lot and is more interested in pleasing his boss. He never liked Tipu Next. All Tipu Next's contacts are through Oriya Gowda.
It became a challenge for Tipu Next to get the Buoy. This was more difficult than finding a new job in Mars. A batch of Buoys were distributed to the people working at MDC with JMS. Tipu Next called Oriya Gowda and asked what happened to his Buoy. Oriya Gowda was giving lot of reasons why Tipu Next was not given the Buoy like ' There has been Solar flare in the sun',' Few people in Pluto had bird flu', hurricane Katrina hit your Buoy' and so on. The actual reason was Nippon Aravli gave it his Boss to please him.
These reasons forced Tipu Next to follow it up aggressively. Tipu Next started following it up every day.Tipu Next was annoyed with further reasons.In the 2nd week of August Tipu Next was told by Oriya Gowda that JMS 'MANAGEMENT' has decided to him the BUOY in 2 weeks time, but will have to play a cricket match.
Nippon Aravali came up with a set of conditions for getting the Buoy. A cricket match will be arranged against Tipu Next. JMS will have 11 member team. Tipu Next will have only 9 member team. Tipu Next have to train JMS. Pram Kumar will be one of the umpires. JMS will be bat for 20 overs Tipu Next will bat for 18 overs. A wide or no ball by Tipu Next will be 4 runs for JMS and Tipu Next will only get 1 run when JMS bowls a wide or no ball. The rules were more harder than rules set by Captain Russell In Laagan. The rules were similar to the criteria for Tipu Next's promotion in JMS. Tipu Next agreed to it as he needed the Buoy
The Match was held in Mercury. The Match was well balanced in favor of Tipu Next inspite of the rules. Last over required 12 runs for JMS. Pram Kumar was the Umpire. A ball was just crossed the Batsman's crease and Pram Kumar gave it as 4 runs. When asked his answer 'Not Guilty'( The only English word he knows). But Inspite of all these Tipu Next won the match.
Finally the Buoy was given to Tipu Next.