Mallu for me is anyone who speaks Malayalam. I am a Mallu. This year's trip to Kerala was very exciting. With few expectations I landed in Kochi.During my stay in Kerala I came across a lot different varities of Mallu. They come in diffrent forms attitude and views.
Driving in Ernakulam is a Nightmare, we decided to try an Autorickshaw. The driver of the Auto was a real specimen. He is thin and drives a very old auto. The problem with him is that he don't like anyone. Any car with a different district registration, he says 'I must give him a Pa
ni' means I must do something to him. He don't likes anyone overtaking. His auto is an antique and anyone can overtake. He keeps taking about how he can create problems for other. I asked him why. He replied 'U will not understand' He was a shorter version of Raj Thackrey.
Next in Line comes a Cab Driver. His problem is again attitude. He is uncompromising. He is ready for a fight with anyone. May be he is a Communist. He thinks only Socialism can solve the world's problem. Well longtime back his family might have been a capitalist, But now he is a Communist and still belives in past glory. He didn't survive long with us and disappeared after picking a fight with us.
Another Mallu is a state policeman. I met this guy while waiting in t
he queue to fill petrol during the petrol shortage in Trivandrum. He is quite happy to be in places where is there is TV camera. He knows most of his senior's , what they do, which department they are posted. He is happy not to do what he is supposed to do and do something else. He gave up so easily while trying to control the crowds in the petrol station and let others do the work for him. These are the people who are supposed to protect us. They are happy not to take any responsibility
Two wheeler driving Mallu is another bunch. They don't plan anything. They are always in a rush. They drive anywhere they can find 3 mm of space. They have scant respect for Road rules. They don't care about pedestrians or signals. When asked they reply 'We pay tax so can do anything'. They are selfish and try to wriggle in to anywhere. They never think that a second delay or going somewhere a bit early would easily solve lot of problems. If one side of road is blocked due to traffic , they will wriggle through the other side and blocking free flow from otherside also.
Another interesting aspect of a Mallu is that they never stand in Queue except at Kerala State beverages corporation to buy alcohol. They like to crowd round a table. They don't realise that standing in a queue will quicken things out. They will crowd round and one with the longest hand will push his stuff to clerk and then walks out thinking that he has achieved something. Thank god they don't try to the samething in a toilet.
Another variety of Mallu
is someone who believes that 'I am late' so let me make others also late. I happened to meet this sort of mallu at the petrol station. He is a mixture of a wriggling Bike mallu and want to make others late. I asked him if he could move his bike forward so that I could make my way out of the petrol station. His reply 'I have been standing here for last 2 hours so you also wait for another 2 hours. No wonder why Kerala is way behind other states.
Another variety of Mallu who loves honking. U are stuck in a traffic and there is no chance of moving forward, but the Mallu behind you will continously try to honk. I am not sure what is he gaining out of it. May be contribute to the destruction of environment and other's ears. This applies to anyone from who holds any respectable position to someone who drives for a living.
Mallus also love driving there cars on roads with a high beam in the night. They don't care for others. They are least bothered if he is hazard to others. I wish I had a torch to shine into his eyes. They also never give any space to anyone to go. If u try reversing your car then they try to go in between you, No matter if it affects the smooth flow of traffic. They also try to get into your parking space when you are trying to do a reverse parking. They then look at you as though nothing happened.
Government staff Mallus are another intresting variety. They only give you part information. You have to ask him 10 times if you want know everything. This sort of people you can find in RTO office and anyone who working in a Customer facing role in any government office. Strangely I ended up irritating someone when I kept questioning why he never gave me all information in one go.
Another variety of Mallu is someone who boasts that he knows popular people. Everyone falls a bit into this category. I also belong a bit to these category. Sometimes I also says that I also have high connections.
Another variety of Mallu is full of ego. His ego is driven by either his inferiority complex or Superiority complex. Either way he don't listen or thinks. He is always correct. The problem is they quickly come to a conclusion and will stick on to it and will not relent; even if he is wrong. It is very difficult to work out a sensible solution with these sort of people. He thinks agreeing to someone is like he has lost his life. This sort of people drags things on and on untill the other person gives up. He now has a winning feeling, but never realises that he is the real loser. What will happen if people with Egos meet up??
Another variety of Mallu is someone who will agree to get things done by this particular day. When you ask him if it can be done or not. He says sure, but will never do it. We met this tailor who agreed to make bedsheets for us. We gave all the measurements, sketches everything. We asked him if he could do it or not. He said he will complete it by 13th January. What happened on 13th January, he shut his shop very early and left. The cloth material is back at my home without even being opened. When asked why 'I didnot get all the information' How can he retain customers. They don't say no, but will not delivering on the agreed day.
If Mallus come in different forms, then Mallu ways are strange. Has anyone been to Big Bazar or Parthas. They want to keep even handbags at the counter. They are not willing to take the responsibility of the bags. When we are allowed to have the handbag inside the shop after long argument, then someone was shadowing us.
Finally when you buy things; all the items are stuffed in to covers just like in airport and will come out of the shop after multiple checking. Is it to improve security or to irritate people. Why don't they use tagging system.
Politician Mallu is someone who comes for jogging early morning surrounded by 10 people. They move us one unit. Looking at the other guys, they are on a compulsory jogging mission. The Politician Mallu smiles at everyone trying to impress others. They are a hazard to other joggers and they walk on the middle of the road. Still believes in blocking road for attention.
Not all Mallus are negative and egoistic, but Majority are. Then the Kerala would have been Somalia. I have met few who are good and unhappy with what is happeneing. This particular Auto driver was charging less compared to others. I asked him why 'The price of petrol has come down and everyone has to contribute if things need to improve'. I was very impressed by this guy.
Another variety of Mallu is who works hard so that others get their salary. He is a government officer who is on time and doing his job very well. He gets riducled by his colleagues, but he is not bothered.I wish the current percentage reverses so that Kerala can progress.
What I like of few Mallus are they don't have to be a part of a group or someone to tell to take up intiative. He does by himself. But the problem is if there are negative Mallus in the group then he will be dragged down.
Driving in Ernakulam is a Nightmare, we decided to try an Autorickshaw. The driver of the Auto was a real specimen. He is thin and drives a very old auto. The problem with him is that he don't like anyone. Any car with a different district registration, he says 'I must give him a Pa
ni' means I must do something to him. He don't likes anyone overtaking. His auto is an antique and anyone can overtake. He keeps taking about how he can create problems for other. I asked him why. He replied 'U will not understand' He was a shorter version of Raj Thackrey.Next in Line comes a Cab Driver. His problem is again attitude. He is uncompromising. He is ready for a fight with anyone. May be he is a Communist. He thinks only Socialism can solve the world's problem. Well longtime back his family might have been a capitalist, But now he is a Communist and still belives in past glory. He didn't survive long with us and disappeared after picking a fight with us.
Another Mallu is a state policeman. I met this guy while waiting in t
he queue to fill petrol during the petrol shortage in Trivandrum. He is quite happy to be in places where is there is TV camera. He knows most of his senior's , what they do, which department they are posted. He is happy not to do what he is supposed to do and do something else. He gave up so easily while trying to control the crowds in the petrol station and let others do the work for him. These are the people who are supposed to protect us. They are happy not to take any responsibilityTwo wheeler driving Mallu is another bunch. They don't plan anything. They are always in a rush. They drive anywhere they can find 3 mm of space. They have scant respect for Road rules. They don't care about pedestrians or signals. When asked they reply 'We pay tax so can do anything'. They are selfish and try to wriggle in to anywhere. They never think that a second delay or going somewhere a bit early would easily solve lot of problems. If one side of road is blocked due to traffic , they will wriggle through the other side and blocking free flow from otherside also.
Another interesting aspect of a Mallu is that they never stand in Queue except at Kerala State beverages corporation to buy alcohol. They like to crowd round a table. They don't realise that standing in a queue will quicken things out. They will crowd round and one with the longest hand will push his stuff to clerk and then walks out thinking that he has achieved something. Thank god they don't try to the samething in a toilet.
Another variety of Mallu
is someone who believes that 'I am late' so let me make others also late. I happened to meet this sort of mallu at the petrol station. He is a mixture of a wriggling Bike mallu and want to make others late. I asked him if he could move his bike forward so that I could make my way out of the petrol station. His reply 'I have been standing here for last 2 hours so you also wait for another 2 hours. No wonder why Kerala is way behind other states.Another variety of Mallu who loves honking. U are stuck in a traffic and there is no chance of moving forward, but the Mallu behind you will continously try to honk. I am not sure what is he gaining out of it. May be contribute to the destruction of environment and other's ears. This applies to anyone from who holds any respectable position to someone who drives for a living.
Mallus also love driving there cars on roads with a high beam in the night. They don't care for others. They are least bothered if he is hazard to others. I wish I had a torch to shine into his eyes. They also never give any space to anyone to go. If u try reversing your car then they try to go in between you, No matter if it affects the smooth flow of traffic. They also try to get into your parking space when you are trying to do a reverse parking. They then look at you as though nothing happened.
Government staff Mallus are another intresting variety. They only give you part information. You have to ask him 10 times if you want know everything. This sort of people you can find in RTO office and anyone who working in a Customer facing role in any government office. Strangely I ended up irritating someone when I kept questioning why he never gave me all information in one go.
Another variety of Mallu is someone who boasts that he knows popular people. Everyone falls a bit into this category. I also belong a bit to these category. Sometimes I also says that I also have high connections.
Another variety of Mallu is full of ego. His ego is driven by either his inferiority complex or Superiority complex. Either way he don't listen or thinks. He is always correct. The problem is they quickly come to a conclusion and will stick on to it and will not relent; even if he is wrong. It is very difficult to work out a sensible solution with these sort of people. He thinks agreeing to someone is like he has lost his life. This sort of people drags things on and on untill the other person gives up. He now has a winning feeling, but never realises that he is the real loser. What will happen if people with Egos meet up??
Another variety of Mallu is someone who will agree to get things done by this particular day. When you ask him if it can be done or not. He says sure, but will never do it. We met this tailor who agreed to make bedsheets for us. We gave all the measurements, sketches everything. We asked him if he could do it or not. He said he will complete it by 13th January. What happened on 13th January, he shut his shop very early and left. The cloth material is back at my home without even being opened. When asked why 'I didnot get all the information' How can he retain customers. They don't say no, but will not delivering on the agreed day.
If Mallus come in different forms, then Mallu ways are strange. Has anyone been to Big Bazar or Parthas. They want to keep even handbags at the counter. They are not willing to take the responsibility of the bags. When we are allowed to have the handbag inside the shop after long argument, then someone was shadowing us.
Finally when you buy things; all the items are stuffed in to covers just like in airport and will come out of the shop after multiple checking. Is it to improve security or to irritate people. Why don't they use tagging system.
Politician Mallu is someone who comes for jogging early morning surrounded by 10 people. They move us one unit. Looking at the other guys, they are on a compulsory jogging mission. The Politician Mallu smiles at everyone trying to impress others. They are a hazard to other joggers and they walk on the middle of the road. Still believes in blocking road for attention.
Not all Mallus are negative and egoistic, but Majority are. Then the Kerala would have been Somalia. I have met few who are good and unhappy with what is happeneing. This particular Auto driver was charging less compared to others. I asked him why 'The price of petrol has come down and everyone has to contribute if things need to improve'. I was very impressed by this guy.
Another variety of Mallu is who works hard so that others get their salary. He is a government officer who is on time and doing his job very well. He gets riducled by his colleagues, but he is not bothered.I wish the current percentage reverses so that Kerala can progress.
What I like of few Mallus are they don't have to be a part of a group or someone to tell to take up intiative. He does by himself. But the problem is if there are negative Mallus in the group then he will be dragged down.
