What A Mallu

Mallu for me is anyone who speaks Malayalam. I am a Mallu. This year's trip to Kerala was very exciting. With few expectations I landed in Kochi.During my stay in Kerala I came across a lot different varities of Mallu. They come in diffrent forms attitude and views.

Driving in Ernakulam is a Nightmare, we decided to try an Autorickshaw. The driver of the Auto was a real specimen. He is thin and drives a very old auto. The problem with him is that he don't like anyone. Any car with a different district registration, he says 'I must give him a Pani' means I must do something to him. He don't likes anyone overtaking. His auto is an antique and anyone can overtake. He keeps taking about how he can create problems for other. I asked him why. He replied 'U will not understand' He was a shorter version of Raj Thackrey.

Next in Line comes a Cab Driver. His problem is again attitude. He is uncompromising. He is ready for a fight with anyone. May be he is a Communist. He thinks only Socialism can solve the world's problem. Well longtime back his family might have been a capitalist, But now he is a Communist and still belives in past glory. He didn't survive long with us and disappeared after picking a fight with us.

Another Mallu is a state policeman. I met this guy while waiting in the queue to fill petrol during the petrol shortage in Trivandrum. He is quite happy to be in places where is there is TV camera. He knows most of his senior's , what they do, which department they are posted. He is happy not to do what he is supposed to do and do something else. He gave up so easily while trying to control the crowds in the petrol station and let others do the work for him. These are the people who are supposed to protect us. They are happy not to take any responsibility

Two wheeler driving Mallu is another bunch. They don't plan anything. They are always in a rush. They drive anywhere they can find 3 mm of space. They have scant respect for Road rules. They don't care about pedestrians or signals. When asked they reply 'We pay tax so can do anything'. They are selfish and try to wriggle in to anywhere. They never think that a second delay or going somewhere a bit early would easily solve lot of problems. If one side of road is blocked due to traffic , they will wriggle through the other side and blocking free flow from otherside also.

Another interesting aspect of a Mallu is that they never stand in Queue except at Kerala State beverages corporation to buy alcohol. They like to crowd round a table. They don't realise that standing in a queue will quicken things out. They will crowd round and one with the longest hand will push his stuff to clerk and then walks out thinking that he has achieved something. Thank god they don't try to the samething in a toilet.

Another variety of Mallu is someone who believes that 'I am late' so let me make others also late. I happened to meet this sort of mallu at the petrol station. He is a mixture of a wriggling Bike mallu and want to make others late. I asked him if he could move his bike forward so that I could make my way out of the petrol station. His reply 'I have been standing here for last 2 hours so you also wait for another 2 hours. No wonder why Kerala is way behind other states.

Another variety of Mallu who loves honking. U are stuck in a traffic and there is no chance of moving forward, but the Mallu behind you will continously try to honk. I am not sure what is he gaining out of it. May be contribute to the destruction of environment and other's ears. This applies to anyone from who holds any respectable position to someone who drives for a living.

Mallus also love driving there cars on roads with a high beam in the night. They don't care for others. They are least bothered if he is hazard to others. I wish I had a torch to shine into his eyes. They also never give any space to anyone to go. If u try reversing your car then they try to go in between you, No matter if it affects the smooth flow of traffic. They also try to get into your parking space when you are trying to do a reverse parking. They then look at you as though nothing happened.

Government staff Mallus are another intresting variety. They only give you part information. You have to ask him 10 times if you want know everything. This sort of people you can find in RTO office and anyone who working in a Customer facing role in any government office. Strangely I ended up irritating someone when I kept questioning why he never gave me all information in one go.

Another variety of Mallu is someone who boasts that he knows popular people. Everyone falls a bit into this category. I also belong a bit to these category. Sometimes I also says that I also have high connections.

Another variety of Mallu is full of ego. His ego is driven by either his inferiority complex or Superiority complex. Either way he don't listen or thinks. He is always correct. The problem is they quickly come to a conclusion and will stick on to it and will not relent; even if he is wrong. It is very difficult to work out a sensible solution with these sort of people. He thinks agreeing to someone is like he has lost his life. This sort of people drags things on and on untill the other person gives up. He now has a winning feeling, but never realises that he is the real loser. What will happen if people with Egos meet up??

Another variety of Mallu is someone who will agree to get things done by this particular day. When you ask him if it can be done or not. He says sure, but will never do it. We met this tailor who agreed to make bedsheets for us. We gave all the measurements, sketches everything. We asked him if he could do it or not. He said he will complete it by 13th January. What happened on 13th January, he shut his shop very early and left. The cloth material is back at my home without even being opened. When asked why 'I didnot get all the information' How can he retain customers. They don't say no, but will not delivering on the agreed day.

If Mallus come in different forms, then Mallu ways are strange. Has anyone been to Big Bazar or Parthas. They want to keep even handbags at the counter. They are not willing to take the responsibility of the bags. When we are allowed to have the handbag inside the shop after long argument, then someone was shadowing us.
Finally when you buy things; all the items are stuffed in to covers just like in airport and will come out of the shop after multiple checking. Is it to improve security or to irritate people. Why don't they use tagging system.

Politician Mallu is someone who comes for jogging early morning surrounded by 10 people. They move us one unit. Looking at the other guys, they are on a compulsory jogging mission. The Politician Mallu smiles at everyone trying to impress others. They are a hazard to other joggers and they walk on the middle of the road. Still believes in blocking road for attention.

Not all Mallus are negative and egoistic, but Majority are. Then the Kerala would have been Somalia. I have met few who are good and unhappy with what is happeneing. This particular Auto driver was charging less compared to others. I asked him why 'The price of petrol has come down and everyone has to contribute if things need to improve'. I was very impressed by this guy.

Another variety of Mallu is who works hard so that others get their salary. He is a government officer who is on time and doing his job very well. He gets riducled by his colleagues, but he is not bothered.I wish the current percentage reverses so that Kerala can progress.

What I like of few Mallus are they don't have to be a part of a group or someone to tell to take up intiative. He does by himself. But the problem is if there are negative Mallus in the group then he will be dragged down.

Eye Contact

Of all the ways we communicate with people, eye contact is the most powerful. "How we look at other people, meet their gaze and look away can make all the difference between an effective encounter and one that leads to embarrassment or even rejection." Whether it's a loving gaze, hostile stare, nervous glance or a refusal to look altogether, the duration of the contact (or lack thereof) reveals our interest in the other party and the situation.

Looking at people and meeting their eyes are the first steps toward striking up friendships and making positive impressions. The best advice is to make short frequent glances in social situations. Making eye contact for too long a duration can be seen as threatening; the subtext of interest becomes distorted. Failing to look at others causes suspicion as they wonder what signals are being masked. "Honesty and the ability to look someone in the eye are very closely related" Refusing to make eye contact also sends messages of arrogance and contempt communicating to the other person that they are insignificant, a non-person. There are subtle, silent rules to eye contact and they vary from culture to culture.

With people we don't know where our personal "bubble of space" is also being invaded, eye contact hardly exists. In an elevator, on a plane or on the street, make contact if you wish, but break it immediately. Any glance longer than a brief one becomes a sign of recognition or rudeness. In general conversation, you can make eye contact for a few seconds at a time before breaking it. And in public speaking situations, glances of even longer duration are vital to getting your message across
In normal conversation, eye contact plays an important role as the regulator of turn taking. To start a conversation with someone, you need to first establish eye contact. If that person looks back, "permission" has been granted to begin speaking. As soon as the conversation begins, you will find that as the speaker, you look away from the listener glancing back only intermittently to check in. If you're speaking to a group, be sure to check in with all sets of eyes to maintain their interest. When you are done, grant permission via eye contact to the person who has signalled his intention to speak next. If you don't want to be interrupted by someone, avoid his gaze. Without eye contact, your listener will find it more difficult to interrupt which will keep you in control of the conversation.

When we pause to choose our words, we usually look away from our audience. Some people look to the left, some to the right. Experts tell us that those who look away to the right are more scientifically minded. Those who look to the left tend to be more religious or artistic. If we're gathering our thoughts to answer a question, the hemispheres of our brain determine which way we look. If we're asked a verbal question, we tend to look right to gather our thoughts. A spatial question will cause most of us to look to the left. In public speaking situations, skilled speakers look directly at their audience when they want to emphasize a point or display conviction. At other times, they sweep with audience with their eyes taking a few seconds to "click" with each set of eyes. Their goal is to appear as though they are having a mini-conversation with each member of the audience

It is important not to make eye contact look deliberate or controlled. The goal is always to use your eyes in a relaxed way so that you never make others feel uncomfortable
• Listeners typically look at the speaker about 75% of the time in glances lasting 1-7 seconds
• Eye contact rarely lasts longer than three seconds before one or both viewers experience a powerful urge to glance away
• In Japan, listeners are taught to focus on a speaker's neck in order to avoid eye contact, while in the U.S., listeners are encouraged to gaze into a speaker's eyes.
• If someone should surprise you, stay calm. Look him right in the eye--always maintain eye contact. That way you don't look shifty-eyed, but, more important, all he will notice is your eyes.
• When speaking with others, people who have a hard time making new friends are more likely to look down at the ground, or look away. They rarely will look at the face of the person they are talking with.

How many of us thought we are Raj from Dilwale Dulhaniyan Le Jayenge... Thinking that our Simran will look back when I say "Palte ke deek".

How many of us might have thought about someone when we made some sort of Eye Contact in School and College...

Come on Bring back some spark from old days

Superstitions

Superstitions are believed to be signs which people observe to gain good luck or to stay clear of bad luck. Superstitions have evolved over a very long time. People just seem to need something, or someone, to blame if their life goes drastically wrong. For example, if someone has some unexpected bad news it can be more acceptable for them to put the blame on the ladder they walked under earlier that morning, rather than face a difficulty as their own responsibility. There appear to be more superstitions about avoiding bad luck than there are about creating good luck. Perhaps this is because people like to think that if something good happens it is due to their own hard work or because they deserve it, whereas when something bad happens people don't like to blame themselves.

Superstitions vary from country, region and religion. In some places a person with a particular star sign will be first person to visit the home on a new year. This is supposed to bring good luck. If something wrong happens, then ' I told you not to call the person’. Someone else will get a chance next time.

In Western folklore, traditional superstitions associated with bad luck include Friday the 13th, walking under a ladder, and black cats. This article will discuss superstitions involving cats across the world.

• A cat onboard a ship is considered to bring luck
• It is considered bad luck to pass a black cat after 9pm
• In North America, its bad luck if a black cat crosses your path and good luck if a white cat crosses your path.
• In Britain and Ireland, it's the opposite.
• Black Cats - In ancient Egypt, the Goddess Bast was a black, female cat. Christians, wanting to rid society of all traces of other religions, convinced the ignorant that black cats were demons in disguise and should thus be destroyed. In the process, they also destroyed the kindly ladies who cared for the cats, believing them to be witches. Being demons, a black cat crossing your path would create a barrier of evil, cutting you off from God and blocking the entrance to heaven
• A kitten born in May - a witches cat
• A black cat crossing your path - good luck (A white cat in USA, Spain and Belgium)
• A black cat seen from behind - a bad omen
• Stray tortoise shell cat - bad omen
• Cat sneezing three times - the family will catch a cold
• USA belief - A cat washing on the doorstep - the clergy will visit
• Killing a cat - sacrificing your soul to the Devil
• Kicking a cat - Rheumatism
• A cat sneezing is a good omen for everyone who hears it. - Italian superstition
• It is bad luck to see a white cat at night
• Dreaming of white cat means good luck
• If a cat washes behind its ears, it will rain. - English superstition
• A cat sleeping with all four paws tucked under means cold weather ahead. - English superstition
• English schoolchildren believe seeing a white cat on the way to school is sure to bring trouble. To avert bad luck, they must either spit, or turn around completely and make the sign of the cross.
• A black cat crossing one's path by moonlight means death in an epidemic. - Irish superstition
• A strange black cat on your porch brings prosperity. - Scottish superstition
• A cat on top of a tombstone meant certainly that the soul of the departed buried was possessed by the devil.
• Two cats seen fighting near a dying person, or on the grave shortly after a funeral, are really the Devil and an Angel fighting for possession
• To see a white cat on the road is lucky.
• To kill a cat brings seventeen years of bad luck. - Irish superstition
• When moving to a new home, always put the cat through the window instead of the door, so that it will not leave.
• In 16th century Italy, it was believed that if a black cat lay on the bed of a sick man, he would die. But there's also a belief that a cat will not remain in the house where someone is about to die. Therefore, if the family cat refuses to stay indoors, it is believed that someone in the house is doomed.
• In India if any cat crosses the road then it is bad luck if you cross the spot first where the cat crossed the road.
• Kerala Supersition : Two political parties seen fighting on the road, means harthal for Next two days
  

Kerala- How to kill Development

Kerala in the last decade of the 20th Century was run by corrupt LDF and UDF governments. LDF does favour to anyone supporting red color and UDF supported the one with 'Kader'. The Employees are also divided on these lines. They lacked initiative or not willing to take responsibilities. Un-employment rate was very high even though most keralities are educated. Industries could not be set-up as Communist parties think that they can grow only if there is un-employment. Business community is more worried about their profits and and how not to pay taxes. Politics, Police, Business and government office were all fingers in the hand supporting each other. Students were divided on party lines. LDF and UDF used their student wings to destroy public properties and bring down government. Goonda gangs flourished supported by Politicians and Blade companies. If you cannot get your things done then use these gangs, they will make sure that it is done. Strikes, bandh hartal all were part of life. The only good thing was that there was not much religion based politics. The Religious groups were a part of LDF or UDF in the form of parties. Muslim League thinks they help Muslims but never. Kerala Congress stood for Christians they say and SNDP stood for a few Hindus and BJP who owns all the Hindus all over the world. Trade unions are another big problem. They are a hindrance to the development of the state. The world 'private' is allergic to Communist lead unions. If someone decides to set an industry in Kerala, communists will make sure that the owner will be bankrupt. Communist objects to each and every proposal. If some one shows an elephant and tells the Communists that it is an elephant. They will say that is not elephant, But will they it as any other animal. No Never. They will keep on arguing that it is not an elephant. May be after 10 years time they will say it is an elephant, by the time lot of properties would have been destroyed.

Police is Kerala is a very scared community. Why? If they do their job they are transferred or terrorized. If they don't do their job they are incompetent. So what can they do? They spend more time worrying about themselves rather than doing the job. Politicians use them to their advantages. Police has to please all the politicians. Justice is for the person who gives them more money and who has more influence. Politeness is a word alien to them. Police in Kerala has their dictionary and words are meant for them only. There is something called Pollution Control Board responsible for protecting the environment when a new industry is set up It can be called as Pollution 'Kantilla'( Will not see') Board. Certificates are given to any one who fills the officer’s pocket with money. Goonda gangs are another menace. They are the creations of the political parties and arrack shop owners. They are used to settle scores. The younger versions of these goonda gangs are their in colleges to assist in College elections. Rig Veda (Vote-rigging) is not that popular is Kerala.

Keralites fed up of not able to make a livelihood decided to leave Kerala. Many ended in Gulf Europe and America. The money sends by these people are responsible for running of the state. and making politicans rich. What is happening to the tax collected? 95% goes as government salary. 5% don't know. Do Keralities protest against this? No. They clap when the Super stars fight against the system in films or watch ' Rang De Basnti' and get emotionally charged and go to sleep. There protest is over with that.

In the 21st Century things has changed not much. Most of the old generation government employees children have educated and left the state and is working in the Metros or abroad. People are waiting for things to happen and not making things happen. When other southern states progressed Kerala 'God's Own Country' thinking of the famous dialog from 'Naddodikattu' "EdaDasan Athin Athente Aaye Samayam Undu '

Did Corruption change? Yes it is now a part of life. The Government pays the salary to the employees. A part of it has to given as bribe, party donations to the politicans and parties for getting things done. Even for passport verification police needs money. Else they sit of it giving silly reasons. Postman for delivering the passport needs money.

If you go down to any government office the employees are always on break. By10.30 they reach office (Actual time 10). Sign the register and open the 1st page of the newspaper, it is time for 11'o Clock coffee break. Coffee break will be till 12 otherwise they cannot rest before the 12.30 Lunch break. So at this time if someone comes with an enquiry then the standard dialogue "Time for lunch come after Lunch'. There is no politeness in anything. Off for lunch from 12.30 to 2 Pm. 2.15 back to desk to finish the newspaper and film Magazine. By 3.10 he is off to pick the children from School or a Coffee break. By 4.30 back to Desk to pack up to go home by 5. During this short time in the office they will discussing or the Serials "Stree' and " Kochunni'". A day is gone, did anything productive happen? Probably this is the reason why there is a pile of Dusty files sitting in front of him. This has accumulated from the day he joined work. Besides this he has to work for the party, take part in party meeting, hunger strikes and so on. If someone comes looking for him. His College will reply ' He was here till now'. This continues to represent the sad state of Kerala. The revenues don't increase so there is no development. But every now and then Government employee needs salary hike and Bonus.

The Bandh took a new name hartal. It means voluntary closure, But Political parties make sure that you are stoned or poured cow dung if you go out. A hartal will be there for each and everything. Political parties believe that Number of Hartal is directly proportional to the popularity. Communist parties arranged a hartal protesting Saddam's Hanging. They think there was a mourning in Iraq when Pinrayi Vijayan was arrested with a gun in luggage. I don't know where they get the idea and motivation to do these silly things. Hartal for Sneezing, one supporting it and one against it. Then a third one protesting that the Central government is responsible for the Sneeze. These things are keeping Kerala primitive. Do people of Kerala support this. No!!. Why no one is protesting. They are scared. If some protests the Political goondas will make sure that he is no more. All Political parties are united on this. Police is there but more like a 'Nookukuthi' (Scarecrow in the field).

Any form of development like road, factory or anything else other than planting flags and building party office Communist parties Objects. An Express Highway connecting Trivandrum to Kasargod was objected by Communists saying that it will divide Kerala into two. Communists was not looking at the economic benefits to the state and environment when cutting down of the time of travel. Nuclear power plant. No chance.

An interesting incident occurred when a white business man was travelling from Trivandrum to Ernakulam. He noticed that in Trivandrum for digging the roads machinery was being used, But in Allapuzha people were digging the road manually. He asked his Indian Counterpart. ' Why no machinery is used in Allapuzha'. The Indian Counterpart said ' In Allapuzha the Communists are powerful so they don't allow machinery so that more people get jobs' The Foreigner was stunned 'He replied they should use Tea-spoon so that more people can work. May be next time Communists will try that.

The ordinary people should stand up. They should stop paying bribes. They should record the visits to government office when making enquires. If they have problems try using the Right to Information ACT. People should start obeying laws. They should try to follow the road signs.
Reading this article don't think I am Anti-Communist. I support anyone who want to develop the state. Country comes first then the party.

C1_1990_Part_2

We became S5-C1 and we grew bolder. S5-C1 and S5-C3 rivalries became prominent. Some of the C1 guys used to irritate C2 guys by throwing pebbles on the asbestos roof. C3 Guys were always stuck inside their class and have a 'Panchara'(Buttering up the Girls). Some where between S4 and S6, Chitra stood for the Vice(Wise) Chairman's post during elections. We campaigned for her. She won. Well she would have won any way as she was a 'Pavam'. I was replaced as the Class rep with Gopan. When there was a tie, I voted for Gopan and not for me. This was for keeping Peace(piece) in the class. The Great South India trip was planned. Gopan took up the lead with Hari.G (Ochira) and Ashokan. I think Hari.G went on a Pilot trip for checking the security arrangements for the C1 VIPs. After lot of hassling and persuasion we had Upendran sir and his wife in the party.

Back after the hectic South Indian tour. It was time to resolve the New Year celebration incident which started from Bangalore. A class meeting was arranged to resolve it. Everybody's version of story was heard.I don't know who all were involved in it. But I remember some of my friends blaming me for starting it. All boils down to ego and teenage mis-adventures of Kuluthur Kamalahassan's and few others Balalelas. After the meeting Bindus and Devishuba made the decision not to join the All India tour.

Life rolled on. Some things were forgotten. The Guys were invited for the Ladies Hostel day celebrations. The Girls were invited for men's Hostel day. I got drunk and was telling stories and next day everybody made sure that I did not forget what told. They kept repeating what I told during the MH day. I remember buying one of those smelly sweets to my parents. This was to make sure that it is not alcohol smell but the smell of the sweet. In the meantime I also used to attend the Women's college and All Saints College' celebrations.

Labs were more fun than theory. University exams and other departmental semester exams made us toil day and nights. Writing records combined studies. Occasional visits to Anand's house for Cricket and late night movies. Once in while the strikes. Some for no water. Some for postponing the exams. New Batches were added and once a while we kept interviewing the freshers. The tuitions, the ego clashes between lectures. Life moved on.

I introduced the gallop polls in College elections for the first time. A sample survey was conducted to know the voting patterns to predict the winners. To escape from the beatings of the losers I had to run away before the elections were out. Gallop poll was more like starting a sweet talk with pretty girls.

We made friends with few pretty seniors. A junior was so scared of me that she used to wish me whenever she saw me. I saw her at an exhibition and she wished me there as well. All the fun Life rumbled on.

When we were S6 we moved from the Asbestos shed to a terraced room behind Computer engineering department. Few of My classmates like me also started accumulating back papers called 'Supplie and Criti'. Some dropped out. Our S6 class had 2 entrances. One day we pushed a lamb in to the class through the back door and entered the class via the front door. Natrajan sir turned to the class after writing something on the board; He saw a lamb in the class. He turned around to see if I was there in the class. But somehow he came to know that I was responsible for it. He reduced my session marks. Finally I had to go to his home and beg him to increase the marks else I would have never passed. It was the day of Island Express accident at Ashtamudi Lake, so he felt a bit of sympathy and increased my sectionals mark for Construction engineering. Biju and Anwar one night decided to kick all the gates at Sreekarium. They were given fine bashing by the locals.

Finally we became seniors and moved to the civil main block. Our class was next to HOD's room. We gradually became theoretical engineers. As we reached S7 it was time for the All India tour. A new principal told that if only C1, C2 and C3 made a combined tour the trip will be approved. He informed this to the Tour Clerk. Many never liked the idea. We went personally to the principal, but he did not Budge. Directorate of Technical education (DTE) has to provide funds for the All India Tour so Principal's approval is a must.

This is what happened after that. I went to the administration department on the day Tour Clerk was on Holiday. I told Superintent that Principal has asked to send the Tour approval request to him for signing. Superintent prepared all the papers and gave the papers for Principal approval to the Peon. I know that if Principal sees me, he will never approve it. The Principal signed the letter. Immediately I took the letter to DTE office. My friend's sister was working there. She did all the formalities and got the funds approved from Director. I took the approved letter to the Principal saying that the Tour and Funds have been approved. Principal only realized his blunder, but was late. He gave a good lecturing to Superintent who did not speak to me for a while. Once C1 got the approval C2 and C3 also got the approval.

A fun filled All India tour got over. My mother caught me with bottle of Cashew Fenny meant for Gafoor (He was from Architecture who joined us for the tour). Some who made the decision of not joining the tour might be regretting it. We started concentrating on studies again. Biju and I were the combined study mates. Anwar also used to join us.

Puncharia sir never liked me. That is what i think. He made me write the record 4 for 5 times. I got annoyed with him and said that I am not going to write the record even again, but things were sorted out later. Foundation engineering had an attender Narayan who was more powerful than HOD. It was very difficult to please him. Sebastian sir used to give advices to me once a while. So also Devishuba and the Bindus used to advice me. The HOD Krishnan sir and I were always at logger heads. But that was me...

7th and 8th semesters were serious days. We also had the golden jubilee celebrations. We prepared the Aruvikara project. It was hard work but enjoyed a lot. We had a new teacher called Jane. She caught me and Biju discussing during exams, but we told her that as we did combined study we also had to discuss during the exams. As a penalty she reduced my sessionals by 1 mark. We used to have extra class. Some one used to bring something or the other to eat.

Devika stood for elections as a Vice chairman candidate. She won by 4 votes. My gallop polls showed she will loose by 3 votes. 4 juniors who were supposed to vote for Sonia did not turn up for voting. I decided to stand for Civil Department secretary election. After Radhakrishan bribed me by giving me a treat at Lords and I withdrew from the contest. The Decision to stand and to Withdraw was mine only. On Civil engineering day we had mimicry by Kalabhavan troop. Few film stars attended it.

8th semester always saw a one day trip by us. Almost everybody turned up for the trip. We made the food for the lunch. It was a memmorable one. I remember a professor who accompanied stole someone else alcohol.

We had project work for 8th Semester. I joined with Anand to do Stress Analysis. The project started off seriously. We had the final year celebrations an elephant parade. A tug of war and the Rope broke. But days of not taking studies seriously caught up with me. Got myself in the web of 'Supplie and Criti'. I was not able to complete my final year project. I had attendance shortage and finally forced to repeat 8th semester. S8-C1 celebrated the final year's day at Veli. My successful friends moved on. Anand was the class topper.

I confessed to my parents about the mistakes I made and asked them to give me a chance. Since I told them the truth my dad agreed to give me a chance. I was able to complete my engineering not with flying colors but was colorful.

I learned a lot of things in Engineering. It prepared me for the challenges ahead. I still believe my engineering college days were my golden days....

Communism from Sandesham to Arabikatha

In ‘Sandesham' Prabhakaran the son of a Station master is a die hard communist. He will do anything for the party. Prabhakaran depicted very well the communists of 90's. Prabhakaran was educated and didn’t want to work but work for communist. Communism in Kerala thrives in unemployment. Everyone become a part of some political party once he becomes a government servant. Prabhakaran being educated was a party "Buji", the so called ideology guru. Prabhakaran follows Marxism as written down in the book.

Marxism brings Prabhakaran always in conflict with his brother. Prabhakaran's parents try to put some common sense in him, but as Marxist ideology says only the book and one who follow it only right and rest everyone is wrong. Prabhakaran's form of communism is always trying to bring social change thorough strikes hartal, When Communists lost in Poland Prabhakaran was there in the streets protesting it. Did they gain anything from it is still a mystery.

Prabhakaran never liked anyone criticizing the communists. He is upset with his family when some one criticizes the party. A communist never takes criticism. We never take responsibility, we oppose everything, our protests are violent and we destroy public properties. We instigate students to protests. Finally I only care for the party, not even for me or my family. Since Prabhakaran the communist only thought from one side he could never see anything good or bad from the other side. Our Prabhakaran's father decided to act tough with him and Prabhakaran fell in line with the family and his politics ended. There are lots of Prabhakarans in Communist party because of which it is surviving. They are still looking towards China and Cuba to help them. The best quality of Prabhakarans is that they are not selfish.

Nearly 30 years since Prabhakarans helped Communist party survive; they are now transformed into Cuba Mukundans as we in ‘Arabikatha’. Cuba Mukundans is an ardent fan of Fidel Castro and loves his party than anything. Cuba Mukundan criticizes and resists everything that is forbidden by the party texts. And so he is against cola, bourgeoisie, bribery, computers and even don't believe in gods as communists originally don't. As Marx somewhere suggested that he rethought many times about his decision to enter into marriage, Mukundan also don't like to enter into matrimony.

The new generation Communist party contains not only Cuba Mukundan but also selfish leaders like Vijayns who want to be rich. Vijayns are now becoming the public face of communist party. Vijayns grow along with the party. But Cuba Mukundans are again a brand of non selfish leaders who remain in the background and never reach any where. Cuba Mukundan dream of going to Cuba and China, But Vijayns think of going to US and Gulf. Cuba Mukundans always fall into the bottom of the communist food chains and are eaten by Vijayan crocodiles. May be one Cuba Mukundan will slip out once a while and see the other world.

One such Cuba Mukundan reaches Dubai. Cuba Mukundans think that he should help others even if he doesn’t have anything. They think that it is there birth right to help China. May be that is why they want to help China in the nuclear deal. Mukundan being a communist never touched laptop or don't have any knowledge except a good heart. Mukundan's silly beliefs are taken advantage of everyone. In Dubai Cuba Mukundan sees the difficult aspect of life. There cannot be equality everyone has to struggle. The rich needs the poor for work and become elite. Poor needs rich to become middle class and so on. The food chain on the other side is different.

The ruling communist parties in Kerala, has moved away from the ordinary people and its ideals, to become a party controlled by a Vijayans and business tycoons devoid of social commitment. Mukundans at the lower of food chains believe and support them. Few Mukundans who slip out Food chains survive, but they never take on the Vijayns. They find happiness in other forms, with communism still burning deep in their heart.

Sub Prime - The Housing Bubble

After the Dotcom Crash and September 11 attacks, The Federal reserves lowered the interest rates to create capital liquidity (Liquidity is a financial term that means the amount of capital, or money, that is available for investment). It worked as economy began to stabilise by 2002 by encouraging borrowing, spending and investments. Property prices also started increasing.

House prices followed the general principle of demand and supply - When demand is more than supply price increases. People assumed that property value would always appreciate and wanted to buy more houses as investment. Banks started lending to everybody and also to sub prime customers. Sub primes are people with weak credit history or less of a capacity to repay.
Banks always got higher profits over high mortgage rates associated with sub primes. Financial institutions thought that this is a safe option as even if sub primes start defaulting, they could still sell the property at a much higher price and make a profit. Banks safely repackaged the mortgage products and sold to other financial institution and hence reduced the risks. Investors thinking that the house price will continue to rise decided to put money into the risky portfolio.

The property prices increased to such a level that it was not affordable buyers. New buyers were out priced. Now the supply is more and demand is less and price started falling. As property price started to fall, it became difficult to meet up with the high interest based payments; financial institution stopped investing in mortgage based investment products. Banks in order to compensate the loss increased the mortgage rates, which forced the sub primes to default. The housing bubble burst.

Looking back, the 'Interest only' repayment incentive and very low rate for 1st few years was very attractive. This encouraged borrowers to assume that mortgages were within the affordable limits, believing that they could refinance later when house prices appreciated. When house prices were rising refinancing was available. When house prices started dropping refinancing became difficult, making interest payments unaffordable and increased defaults.

The US housing bubble started to plummet in 2006. It all began in 2001 and reached its peak in 2005. The house sales increased from 2001 due to low interest rates, which reduced cost of borrowing. Mortgages were tempting due to their low introductory prices and minimal down payment. This encouraged borrowers to invest in homes. Dot COM crash in 2000 led to 70% drop in NASDAQ share prices. People pulled out the money from stock market and invested in housing, which seemed like a reliable source of investment.

Mortgage brokers received incentives and higher commissions for selling riskier loans. They made lot of profit, but never did enough to see if the borrowers were able to repay if interest rates increased. Underwriters determine the risk of lending to a particular borrower. Prior to automated process all this was done manually and it took a week to process a loan. The automated process did it in 30 seconds, which made lending to anyone easy. The credit rating agencies gave high ratings to mortgage backed securities.

Sub primes have taken a toll on Stock markets. Financial institutions were forced to do a lot of write-downs. Some homeowners are turning to arson as a way to escape from mortgages. This is having effects on insurance companies. More and more houses are sitting vacant which is attracting squatters and criminals. The declining dollar is also attracting foreign buyers to buy properties as investment. Jobs are being lost. Tenants are being forced out, as landlords cannot afford mortgage payments. What looked like a US crisis’s has spread to the Global economy?

Trivandrum_Calling

It has been a long time since I caught with my Engineering College mates. This time when I went to Kerala, I was on a mission that I would find Biju. Biju and I were in good contact till 1995. Last I heard was Biju has been to Kalapani (Andaman).

Arriving in Trivandrum, I got hold of Bindu George. My trip to Trivandrum will not be complete if I don't meet Bindu's George and her family. Bindu gave me the contact details of few of our classmates.
After a long time I heard the voice of Harindranath. While chatting he told me that his son’s classmate is Biju's kid. Well that made life easy for me to get hold of Biju. The kids did us the favour. I have never seen Harindranath since college days. We planned to meet at Vellayamballam. He picked me up from water woks compound. We went to Caffe Coffee Day. Caffe Coffee Day is a coffee shop for the new IPOD generation. It is there hangout. We walked in there to see the new generation. Caffe Coffee Day is a private sector dating shop. In our days we had only public sector "Panchara places" like Museum and few parks.
When we reached the Caffe Coffee Day India has just defeated Australia. Harindranth has changed a bit. His hair is completely gone, but the way he talks aas not changed much. The usual way of talking like a flat stone, which jumps through water when we fling it touching the surface once a while. We had a good time there catching up the past. Harindranth and I made sure that we would meet after few days.
The hunt for Biju is still on. Finally I got Biju's number. We decided to meet up. Statue was the location. Achayan as we call him arrived on time. Achayan has not changed much, but his face has expanded and has become a bit cinemascope, I think. We moved to Swagath restaurant to do the catching up. Swagth is a good restaurant at Pankaj hotel and serves good food. As drinks were out of bounds as both were to drive, we ended up in soft drinks. Biju in fact never went to Kalapani after he left Trivandrum working for MES. He was transferred to Coimbatore. Now is working in panchyat Water supply department. He has to do lot of travelling every day. We left Swagth and walked down Statue road. We found Jaideep waiting for the Bus. We took some photos and left.
After a long time I went to College to see how it is. It is a fortress more walls and building. Platerium is still in ruins. The Ground and the basketball remain as it is. Beena PR is there. Our S5 classroom has become Coffee shed. A new civil block has been added. I think in what ever form be the college you will still love it if you go there every day and U will miss it once you leave that place.
Anand was supposed to arrive in Trivandrum in few days time. We decided to meet at Muscat Hotel. I don't know how Anand looked after he left College. Harindranth also joined us. I was waiting for Anand outside the reception while he was sitting there in the reception. We had a good dinner and a discussion of the old controversial topics of college days. The hot and rough incidents of All India tour, South India. We walked down the memory lane. Anand has changed after he left college but now his physical form has returned to near college days except the beard. We also thought of having a get together of who ever can turn up. Since it was off short notice; I took up the responsibility. We also decided that we would meet Harikesh as well.
In between I called up Bindu JS. I decided to meet her. She still stays near Sree Padnambha theatre at East Fort. Still she hears the Sound tracks from the movies and not the picture. Bindu has no major changes except a kid and husband are now part of her life. Her kid takes care of all emails and social networking sites. Her husband is an interesting guy.
Anand Harikesh and myself met at South Park. It is years since I met Harikesh. Harindranth never turned up. What chemistry has gone wrong with Harindranth and Harikesh is for speculators to make up stories. As always we discussed about the past present and people who were a part of us. Harikesh is very thin these days and not the muscle man of the college days. But he has a gadget called headphone attached to his ear. The South park hotel guy finally after a lot of attempts took a photo of us. The Plans for the get together was arranged.
Coffee day is hosting the catch up. Anand, Harikesh was not there. Jaideep as well whenever we call him, He goes to a place, which is quite far from Trivandrum. Hari G was supposed to come, but he backed out at the last moment. Binu Sukumar and her Hubby came. Beena PR was their driving her Alto. Everyone in Trivandrum knows of Beena and her white Alto. Beena L Chitra Bindu george, Bindu JS. Gopan Biju,Harindranth all came. Since it was off short notice we could not grab hold of all the others. But there was fairly good attendance. Binu's Husband Rajiv vanished when all of us came. He said he would be back after an Hour or so. Chitra has always been Chitra- no change. Beena L became Beena Fat. Gopan has put bit of weight but still the same except no bag. Others view of me is that I have not changed as usual Noisy. It was good fun

Chitra's conversation with Beena's kids

" Don't you know me, I was there at Beena's – your mother wedding, Did you not see Me " I was surprised hearing that so were the kids

South India Tour

Engineering College bus took was from Trivandrum to Quilon. We got in to a meter Gauge train. Perhaps the only Meter gauge tracks in India. It took us from Quilon via Shenkotta to Madurai. When the train went through tunnels we could see only Hari and Dili(may be black body radiations).The train rumbled to an early morning stop at Madurai. We all were dumped into a nice hotel (a rare thing at that time) in Madurai.
The day was spent visiting temples and may be a Light and sound show. It was about Cherans and Cholas. Madurai Meenakshi temple is an architectural marvel. Everybody made wishes. On the way Hari started Crying. He was saying that his pocket was picked and lost all his money. The rest of the tour he was fed and entertained by others. A sudden change of plan. We decided to go to Kodikanal next day. Our Train to Chennai was only at 8 PM next day.
Two tempo vans were arranged and next day 6.AM we all left for Kodai. Because of the time limit we did a flying trip. Saw all the beautiful places. Once a while there was a race between tempos. Some also tried to steal Oranges from a farm when we stopped for sometime. The First Tempo that reaches Madurai has to collect the Luggage and go to the station. With no-mobile phones, Communications was a big problem between vans. We all were able to catch the Train to Madras.
Tired some slept in the train. We were having an argument with the TTR. Finally we had to lock him up. Early morning we were approaching Madras. From the smell we know Madras is nearby.
Madras has lot of history. It became more famous when we reached there. We were put in some hotel. Everyone rushed in to different rooms. Some were seen running out to other rooms (Oops Dili was there). Everyone finally settled in. We had a trip to various tourist attractions in Madras. We also had a day out to Mahabalipuram where we met our mechanical batch. The experience was pleasant walking round the beaches and the small hills nearby. On the way back I was having headache, so I jumped in to the first open room to lie down. I realized that I was in the wrong room when one of the Bindu's sat on me.
Next day we left for Bangalore. We were staying in a nice place opposite to Majestic. It was New Year’s Eve. We decided to celebrate it. But trouble started with one person trying to act smart and telling off the girls not to attend it. All I know is Hari was violent and was screaming at everybody. Finally Upendran sir has to intervene and things were sorted out. New Year eve was a damp affair. Next day Bangalore became famous for Jayalekshmi's shopping. Every shop keeper was hurling abuses at her because Someone told her to do hard bargaining to get things cheap. The New Year celebration incident meant more troubles ahead...
We left Bangalore to Mysore. We visited Vrindvan gardens. The beautiful Vridavan garden was magnificent in the night with lights on. We were dumped in to a hotel. Next day was spent visiting Mysore palace, Nandi hills and various other places. New Year celebration incident picking up strength from a small fire it became a bit larger fire. The actors were the same but different stories started doing rounds. I think we had a very good Script writer (Please update me with your part of the story when you read this. It will be fun to know what happened after so long) in the group.
We caught the bus to Ooty. All the luggages were put at the top. Dili was very good in doing that. But on the way to Ooty we have to climb to the roof again as bags fell down, but not much of damage was done. New Year incident fire was more visible. Instead of a fun loving group we became splinters. The Bindus were isolated, I for one was also isolated as Ajith and myself were with Bindus. The script writer was doing a very good job. There were many beautiful sights through the forest. We also stopped to take some snaps at the water falls.
By night fall we reached Ooty. It was my birthday as well. We were put in to a hotel. My mates in the room were not my best friends. Someone was seen standing in the cold lake with minimum clothes. I think it was part of some bet. New Year celebration incident was more obvious. Some were avoiding others. Do I care? I decided to give the poor group company. Well I also became a part of the untouchables. Still we decided to celebrate my birthday. I cut a cake and gave to my friends. All my birthdays were part of the tour package.
Next day we did some boating. Anand and his group had some trouble with the People in the Boat club. I intervened to solve the issue and get the money back. We wandered around Ooty collecting everlasting (the flowers). We visited Botanical garden. We did some catching practice until the ball was stuck in the trees. Amir Khan and Madhuri Dixit were also there shooting for the Film 'Dil'. The Script writer was more active now adding oil to New Year celebration incident making it a big fire.
We left Ooty to Coimbatore by bus. We missed the ride down hill on the Hill train. As the bus wound down the hair pins hill train was seen disappearing in the mist. Finally we reached Coimbatore to catch the T-garden express to Kochi and then to Trivandrum. A weighing machine was seen ill treating Beena L and Ajitha. May be because of the weights. The tour ended with all us returning to Trivandrum and few getting down at Ernakulam

C1_1990_Part_1

C1 as the name stands is for Civil Class 1. C1-1987 was born after the second semester in Engineering college. All those who had Civil engineering as the main branch starting from Alphabet A and ending in J were made part of C1. Few H guys also slipped in to the C2 batch in the form of Hanish Mohammed as well. C1 began with Anand and ended with Jaideep. We were the Junior most senior guys.

C1 began its life at room 105 in the Main Engineering block. Room 105 has library on one side and the College Entrance on the other side. Main block is a good place. It is bustling with activities and people. Other than the Civil department Lecturers Mathematics and Economics staff also taught us when we were S3-C1.Economic Lecturer happened to be my Cousin and he went and complained to my mother 'I am bit uncomfortable when Hilal is in the Class'. May be tensed on seeing a relative in the class. As we had a Junior batch my class mates and myself used to go and 'Interview' them once a while. This is a common thing. Seniors interviewing juniors.

Room no 105 was fun filled. We used to have Mass bunking of classes. I being the REP used to be the contact between Faculty and S3-C1.We decided to bunk the Engineering mechanics class. So I had to inform EM professor that no one is in the class. I have to tell the class that if I don't turn up in 10 Minutes time means the Professor is not coming. What really happened is I locked the class and jumped out through the window. But that Mass cut was successful. Gradually we had 2 new faces added to the Class. Hari.S.(later known as Wollen) and Liesel Das.

Our 3rd semester Trip was planned.-An All Kerala trip. A KTDC bus was hired to take us round kerala for 3 days. We visted Munnar, Moolamattam power station and few other Places.Started off from Trivandrum. Travelled a good strech of kerala to Moolamattam, then to Munnar. Shopping was at Cochin. We went for a late night movie. The trip was highly successful except the troubles when the accounts were presented. That is not a problem of our class. This is universal Mallu problem.

Liesel got 'Interviewed' by Baby from Computer Science thinking that She was from junior batch. She was in tears and finally I have to Intervene to sort out the situation. Baby apologised to Lisel. By the end of S3-C1 groups of friends were formed. The Ladies hostel Team, Men's hostel team. Classmates became small groups to hang around. Dili was an intresting charcater. He behaves as though he has no common sense. Only time he gets some sense is when some one decides to take his photo. Chitra beena and Devika was one of the gang(the saree gang). Bindus were one group. Asha Geeta Elizebeth and Binu and some others were a ladies hostel gang. Hari.G from Valikavu teamed with Ashokan which also had Anvar(referrd as janvar). I was stuck with Harikesh Anand and Harindranath. Baji Chandran was renamed as 'Makanaki'( Footballer from Cameroon) after the football world-cup. Jaideep started developing a resemblance to L.K Advani.

As Semesters rolled over we became S4-C1. We were moved to a asbestos shed near to the Planetarium. This was our nest for few years. Work load increased, projects combined study and combined drinking. Most of us learned playing cards the 12th subject. Afternoon was spend in the Sit out of the shed and near to the tree. Pulling each other's legs and telling stories was the time pass. Few classmates developed soft corners for others. Some became so famous that the names can be still found in Simla. Some classmates also developed rivalry for others. Well some was busy with other branches and juniors. Across the road from Asbestos shed there are few mango tress. This provided us with enough man gos during the summer time. Classmates named Harindranath as 'Kulathur kamalhassan' for his antics and not for acting skills. We had few drop outs as well Bavakutty decided to begin a new Career with Junior batch. A debutant teacher came to teach Harbour engineering. She was scared and every one was very naughty. To control the class HOD also joined he lessons, But she became nervous and decided not to invite HOD any more. A one day trip were arranged to Palaruvi which was very successful. The good thing is no one was taken by flash floods.

We had Surveying. The Short Krishan sir was explaining to us about how to level the instrument. I was sitting on the ground trying to adjust the levels. All I know is that after few seconds the whole thing was on top of me. Sangmeshri teacher had a habit of counting the number of heads after taking the attendance. She tried matching the heads and the numbers few times. But never matched. She grew wild and fumed out of the class, telling not to come again. Finally persuasion tactics worked and she was back.

Nippon Aravali & Pram Kumar

Nippon Aravali: I found a nice Client for you

Pram Kumar: No Nippon, I will find a client myself.

Nippon Aravali: No you should go the client I found

Pram Kumar: Impossible, I can’t, Never...

Nippon Aravali: The Client I found is City Bank

Pram Kumar: Then I accepted.

“Nippon Aravali WENT TO City Bank's Senior Project Manager"

Nippon Aravali: I found a Nice Project Manager for You

City Bank's Senior Project Manager: No we don't need one now.

Nippon Aravali: But the person I found works as a Project manger for HSBC

City Bank's Senior Project Manager: Then I agreed.

“Nippon Aravali WENT TO PRESIDENT OF City Bank's Projects"

Nippon Aravali: I found a new Project manager for your projects which has been agreed by your Senior Project Manager

President: No I don't need any more Project Manager.

Nippon Aravali: But the man I found is the former College of your Senior Project Manager.

Funny: but Not Really

Ashok liked a girl, But was too scared to tell her. The problem is girl did not know who Ashok is. I was sent as an intermediary to tell her that Ashok likes her. Ashok was with few of friends when this girl was also walking by. I decided to introduce Ashok now. I told Ashok to raise his hand when I point my hand towards him so that the girl knows who you are. After that what happened I don't know, but few months later the girl came and asked me if Ashok really liked me or not.

People used to think that whoever standing inside the University library during evening time will soon become an IAS or IPS officer. Lot of my friends already have become. Lot of time is spent at the library in preparation. A friend of mine was writing the Civil Service Exam to become an IAS/ IPS officer. We used to take advantage of this and sneak to football matches at the nearby football stadium. I used to go and tell the poor Cops that we want to see the match. The policeman refuses. Then I tell him that My friend will be soon be an IPS officer. The policeman's attitude changes, he starts respecting us and lets us in. He tells me to ask my friend to get him a promotion. Sometime they have bought us snacks also besides letting us in to the ground.

A conductor once gave me balance in 1 rupee coins when I gave him 10 Rupess for a ticket. I asked him if I can 2 rupee notes which he was having in his hand. He shouted at me.I decided to take revenge on him. I started collecting 5 paise coins from that onwards. When I had enough coins( around 50). I got in the bus asked this same conductor for a ticket for 2.50 rupees. I gave him all the 50 coins. He asked me if I had notes. I said I had but I am not going to give to you. The people in the bus had a good laugh.

I got into a bus around 7 KM from my home. I have get down at a particular stop and walk for 1 KM to reach home. But due to some traffic problem the bus has to take some diversion. The Driver did not know the way. So I tool the responsibility of guiding the Driver. I told him the right way but made sure it will go in front of my house. To my my neighbour's shock they could see a KSRTC bus dropping me in front of the house.

My neighbour learned to drive a scooter. So he decided to try his luck in driving through the city. A policeman tried to stop him for jumping the signal. He hit the policeman and carried him on the front bumper. Finally he was forced to stop because of a hole dug by Telecom department for some urgent works. He applied the brake and the policeman fell in the hole. The policeman with great difficulty got out of the hole and screamed at my neighbour. But he got away as he was also working for the Police department.

During one of the exams A friend of mine has completed answering the questions well before the time. Poor guy what did he do? he decided to verify the answers by checking with the text book. He was caught for copying and his marks were made zero.

An SFI convention was arranged in Trivandrum. lot of Delegates came from various states. One delegate from Bengal asked an SFI leader from kerala ' Are there any Open Universities in Trivandrum' SFI leader's reply 'No No everything closes at 5 PM

My friends had written the script for a drama. A father( priest) was main lead. The priest had an assistant as well. The drama got lot of accolades. At a particular function without any notice they were asked to play the drama. Father did not have a gown and he had to wear a pants and shirt .The script was changed slightly to handle this Father asks the assistant where is his gown Assistant : I have washed it and it is not dry. This took care of that Embarrassment.

The weighing machine in railway station gives a message along with the weight. A classmate of mine bit heavy stood on the machine. The machine took a while to understand what was happening. It gave out a Ticket ' Two persons cannot stand at a time'. Seeing this a Light weighted friend of mine stood on the machine. This time the message ' Atleast some one should stand'

Mean But Comical: What do u think?

English Vinod is famous for his English. He was standing in front of University college. A foreigner asked him the way to the University Office which is few blocks away. English had difficulty in telling him they way in his English. So he took hold of the foreigner's hand and dragged him to university office. Pointing the finger to the building he said' University Office'

I had just completed my Cobol exam during my mainframe course. I was waiting for my next exam and was reviewing the lessons. I needed to go to the Loo urgently. I just walked into one of the bathrooms and then came out after using the Loo. As I coming out a a girl college of mine asked me what I am doing in ladies bathroom. At this point I realised that I had gone to the wrong place. Thank god no one screamed when I walked into ladies loo.

I was interviewing people during the Inter-collegiate festival for my magazine. I was told that Getha Krishanan had won the Mrithamgam completion. So I was waiting for a beautiful girl to turn up for the interview. To my surprise Getha krishan was a boy.

During one of the class exams a friend of mine who was has got a very good handwriting and writing with black ink gave her papers to me for copying. I was writing with blue ink. Around 20 mins in to photocopying, The Examiner( Survey Teacher) came to my desk. She had a look the answer sheet and started asking me questions.' Why you are writing with different inks' I said my black ink got over so I am using blue ink.' Why you have got 2 hand writing' I looked at my watch and said. Initially I was writing with more care and then I realised that I am running out of time, So I started writing a bit faster. This is the reason why you could see 2 different sets of handwriting. I could see my friend standing on the side of me shivering when I was answering the questions from the examiner. The Examiner seems to be convinced and walked away.

Once I crawled out of my class on my knees so the lecturer will not see. As as I was out of the class I could see 2 legs in front of me. I looked up saw the Head of Department standing there. I continued to crawl round his legs ignoring him. He pulled me up and put me back in the class.

We have to take a staff member with us during the All India tour. So the staff member joined us with his wife. His wife's Hindi was not good. She went to buy shirts for her nephew in Delhi. Her nephew was 5 years old. She went to the shop and said 'Panch Baje ke lye shirt chahiye( I need a shirt for 5 o'clock) instead of saying 'Panch saal ke baache ke liye ek shirt chahiye'( I need a shirt for a 5 year old). We could not control our laughter nor the confused shopkeeper.

A person who is six feet need a pant. What type of pant he needs a full length. So he bought a full length pant from a shop in Delhi. He put on his pant when he went to a beach in Goa. To his surprise the pant literally shrunk in front of him to be a half pant when he touched sea water

A friend of mine was walking from Palayalam to Bakery junction. A herd of Buffalo was walking in front of him. As he was trying to over take the buffalo. A buffalo flipped it tail and hit Rajesh right on his face. May be Rajesh has not seen the No-over taking sign on the road

Anil and Pradeep are very good friends, But they also keep fighting. One day Anil got bloody drunk.I was there to help Anil reach home. We were walking to the main road to get an Auto. An Auto was passing by and a Girl in the Auto waved at Us. Pradeep waved back. That was enough for Anil. A argument broke out between Anil and Pradeep. Anil was insisting that the girl in the Auto was his wife and Pradeep waved at her. Pradeep was arguing the girl was one of his friends. The argument was sorted out by giving a call to Anil's house. But the whole incident was to wind up Pradeep who can be annoyed very easily.

A friend of mine's Dad was working in FOREST DEPARTMENT. In front of his house a Name board says' XXXX, FOREST DEPARTMENT. He regularly bunks office and stay at home. So One day I decided to change it to XXXX, REST DEPARTMENT. He got annoyed on seeing this. But he got the message. He was less seen at Home during office hours

This is not the work of Kaalidasan. We decided to make a small tent. For this a main pole was needed. We decided to cut a tree from the nearby central jail compound. We choose the wrong place and wrong tree as well. We cut a tree on which the jail wardens were sitting. They came down with tumble and we ended up in their hands.

Crashing into wedding: Call it Like That

After completing Engineering I any my friend had a few months before we got jobs. Morning was spend at university library, MLA quarters canteen and university office. This was for improving the GK. Evening was spend wandering around Statue and Library. Whatever experience we gained was a part of learning curve. We built lot of new contacts, met different people and learned many things. We always wanted to do something different.hence decided to experiment something new during day time.

Trivandrum has lot of Kalyana Mandapam(wedding hall). Lot of Marriages take place every day (except Karkada Month). We decided to attend few of the wedding as uninvited guests. the tasty food accompanying the wedding fascinated us. We had a liking for Christian and Muslim weddings as Biriyani attracted us a lot. 'Make no mistake' our parents never know of it for a long time. They were well off in taking care of us. But we became 'wedding Crashers' just for the fun of it.

Every morning I or my friend will scan through the top Malayalam newspapers looking for a weddings. If he finds an interesting one. He will give me a call. The only problem is when there is a Muslim and a Christian wedding at the same time. We have make sure we choose the right wedding/distance to travel and also food into consideration. We usually alternate between Christian and Muslim weddings. Next thing is to tell our Mothers a reasonable story for avoiding the lunch. There will be lot of questions as why we want to avoid lunch. As usual we were good with coming up with stories. Some believable some bouncers, But anything works.

A bit more information about who was getting married, groom and Bride's names etc will be noted down. We also have to make sure that we are well dressed for the wedding. Ironing the shirts and pants regularly raises doubts in our parents minds. Couple of questions are asked by our parents and some standard answers. But we made sure that the ironing process does not take place everyday. I will walk down to the main road and my friend will pick me up in his Dad's car. The distance was always a factor as we cannot end up paying for petrol with the small pocket money we get.

We drive up to the wedding hall. There will someone already standing at the entrance to catch the Wedding Crashers. As we are gentlemen and driving to the wedding we waved in. Usually car is a considered a 'prestige( Not the pressure cooker) item'. After parking the car we walk to the hall. As we look cool and composed and joking all the way we don't have to worry. We will make sure we are coordinated in our answers and smile at everyone. This is to create a good impression and also confuse people. Sometimes we are asked ' Are you from girl's side or boy's side' We will give out the pre-meditated answer. We will be directed to the respective seats. We make sure that we pick up conversation with people next to us. This is just for passing time and avoid some suspicious looks so called Ex-military guys who think they are 'intelligent'.

After the formal wedding Ceremony we move to the Food hall. There will be a queue for getting into the food hall. We will in the first 20. This way we will get the taste of the first batch of food. Usually food will be very good. During the lunch time we chat with people sitting next to us to make 'them' feel comfortable. The whole lunch process gets over in around 20 minutes time. We have now achieved our objective for the day. Get a lemon as a proof of wedding.

You all might be wondering ' Will these guys walk off after the food'. No we are not like that. We will have hang around for sometime watching the colorful people. Once the bride and groom are free; We walk up to them. Sometimes I will introduce myself to the Couple. the surprised Couple will be wondering who am I and who is with me. I will then introduce my friend.This process will reverses in the next wedding. From there faces it is so obvious they don't know us. They don't want to question us thinking it might be insult us. Sometimes we were asked who we where. We go back to the Old Pre-Degree days. Did you study in Arts College or Mar Ivanios for pre-degree. Starting a conversation from college days will be the beginning of many embarrassing stories. The Confused couple will be looking at each other and there relatives who are these guys. It does not not matter us. They might be thinking some distant relatives children either bride or groom's side. We then stand with the couple and take a snap. You guys should not start looking at the wedding albums to see if we were there in your wedding or not. We also will them good luck for their future. We are pleased and drive home.

The Wedding crashing plans were sometimes failure. Many times we run into our relatives and family friends and we were forced to back out. Sometimes we will be sitting next to people whom we know and having lunch. Sometimes we will asked lot of questions. we have to wriggle out of these situations. But most of the times we achieve our objectives.

We were members of Soorya film society. Soorya arranges various functions at Tagore theatre. Kerala is famous for Power-cuts. There will be a half to one hour break during power-cuts. Poor Tagore theatre did not have a generator. Sri-Moolam club is near to Tagore theatre. Sri-Moolam club usually had parties in the evening. We will usually spent the power-cut time crashing into these parties.

The funny thing is that for my Cousin's wedding, I was given the job of locating the Other Wedding crashers. It is like giving the key to.... Do you think I will we standing there looking for the Crashers.